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He was my favorite but the vibe faded out. It was the first time I had ever "broken up" with someone. I had to be the one to say it because it would have hurt more if he said it first.
The vibe was long gone. We hadn't seen each other in 2 period cycles and I was getting the distinct feeling that I was being led on. He's a good person so I read between the lines. He didn't think it was necessary to confront me but at the same time, wanted me to disappear. I crafted what felt like the perfect message (for future use as well) and sent it at 5:32 this morning, only moments after he sent me an obnoxiously early message promising me he would see me next week. I was bored weeks ago but now, I was finished.
I've been waiting for him to snap me back. Let's see what he said:
"Okay, I understand"
A bit underwhelming but perhaps that's what he was waiting for. He knew what he was doing. I'm sure he has a mild sense of relief now that I'm out of the picture. No more having to leave me on read for 8 hrs while he continues to post stories. No more having to come up with excuses. No more having to grit his teeth to get through it. No more having to generate creative excuses. No more having to delete my snap box so I wouldn't linger in his life like a weird smell you can't quite identify.
Just: finally.
It was a learning experience. No drama, no commitment. That's what it was supposed to be and now that it's no longer fun, it's time for him to go. It hurts a little but I was truly tired of getting prematurely exhausted, knowing that whatever I sent wouldn't be seen for at least a day or two. That sucks. Guys think they're being slick playing games but the message that they're delivering is, "I'm bored of you and it's time to go away" in the least dramatic way possible. And that hurts.
And so, we part ways.
I created a mental filing cabinet for all of my dearly departed. I've labeled it "The Island of Lost Boys". "B" was put into this cabinet early this morning. He slid in quietly: no apologizing, no asking what he could have improved on, no heartbreak the way I would have had. So perhaps, I need to take notes. I folded my hand in the more graceful way while still holding on to whatever ante I have left.
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Relationships aren't about having fun and to end because you are bored.
ReplyTo me, it's no longer a relationship when I haven't been in his physical presence for 2 months nor waiting 3-5 business days to return a text message. He stopped existing to me, simple as that. He did it to himself.
Reply