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she didn't like who she was becoming, no one around her did but she found comfort in that, knowing she was going to be alone just as she felt, knowing this time no ones going to save her from herself, knowing this time she cared more than other people did at least thats what it felt like. she didn't like being this way yet other people thought she did because she hasn't changed, she'd change in a heartbeat if she could but nobody understood that this is the only way she lived, only thing she saw growing up. she wanted to understand why her parents chose this over her what was so important that you'd leave your kids home alone for a few days or even a week she didn't like being this way but she's starting to understand some parts to this addiction the only thing she'll never understand is why you'd leave your kids for this. she didn't like being this way so she's trying to change but its hard when all you've known was nobody was sober at home.
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