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Hi!
I've been posting here for a long time, always coming in my dark moments or times. And always receiving such warm and hopeful comments from people from all the world. I'm so grateful for that.
I'm currently taking divalproex sodium (equivalent to 250 mg valproic acid) + paroxetine 20 mg at night. In January, I had a tough month. Suddenly, in February 1st, depression (or the sense of it) dissappear completely. That day, I had to talk to my dog's vet, and he asked me about my scars in the arm. He has been the family's vet for 10 years at least. Anyways, this man is a very special being. He's a very tranquil person. He looked authentically interested when he heard me saying the truth about those scars, and, at the end of that, I realised I felt cured. And I have been since then. I call it a miracle of that angel (I'm being affectionate).
So, I have no explanation for what happened. Some may assume it was just the meds. But those assuming are not me inside of me, lol
Meds I've been taking for months. Paroxetine since 1 year ago (before that, escitalopram).
These illnesses are a lot about who surrounds us. It's always a pleasure to talk and see that vet. Also, when I know someone who already passed a similar illness and matured it, it feels like you can totally live with it. While others that have no idea and live life in a very opposite way, they tend to make us feel bad about our situation, EVEN WITHOUT THAT INTENTION! But still, they are our parents, or other blood related family, or very close like someone we consider a friend. Of course, we have to keep dealing with people on the streets, on work, etc. But for my own health, I'm choosing jobs where I know there is not a toxic person. Fuck my parent's voice eco in my haead that says to me: you're being selective and that's not ok!. I know what's best for my health. And for me, work matters. So, co-workers will, too. I will surround myself only by good people in this matter.
So, this hope of not waiting a change about my health, well, miracles happen. I'm Catholic because that's
my heritence, but my family are not practicing it, at least, in the tradicional way. I started to be more practical about it when I have an experience where -I can't say it in other way since it was an EXPERIENCE and not something to teach about- God showed me what His Grace was, during 3 days. So I cannot deny Him, lol
I looked for answers and face Him sincerely, so it seems He answered.
I must tell that story. Because I'm not an idiot who believes in anything. I never did. I had faith, but never THIS faith based on facts.
So that's the hope I bring to you with this post.
Hope you like it
**^_^**
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thirteen.
The blade stares at me. Almost as if shouting for me, I reach over for it, Not knowing what iām getting myself into. The icy coldness of the blade shocks...
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Intrusive Thoughts
All i can think about today is that deep urge to tear off my skin and watch myself bleed...Even if it kills me...I just look at my arm and my still healing scar...
Im glad to hear you're doing better. God works in mysterious ways through whoever He chooses I believe. Your meds may help but also it very well could have been God using your vet to give you peace about your scar's. In any case Im glad to hear things are going better for you. Take care and have a good day or night where ever you are :)
Replyexactly. You are right on point it that ^_^
I am happy about it. So I shared it for others.
Thanks for your kind comment! ā”
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