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School and life everyday almost never changes for a teen
2 months ago · 0 · Stress, +1 · Explicit
106
February 20, 2024
A lot of people would assume that teens have the best life, a lot of friends, have dated several people, love themselves the way they are, are not weight conscious, and don't have a care in the world about anything else. I'm sorry to reveal how opposite my life and several others are from that. I have friends but not that many, I haven't ever been in a relationship, very conscious about my weight, I hate my appearance, and I've gotten fat-shamed most of my life. I care too much about what people think of me, that I lost all the self-confidence that I used to have, even though there are always minimal amounts. I haven't even made it to my freshman year yet, and I'm already stressing about what I'm gonna do after graduation, how my life's gonna turn out, the type of job I'll get, and whatnot. I'm worrying about what's gonna happen in the next four or five years to come rather than what going on right now. My life is all over the place and has me feeling as if I have to outshine my siblings to be noticed even a little bit, act so mature to the point I seem like I'm a mom or older than I truly am, and never get appreciated for the shit I do. This is my everyday life.
Then there's school. Every day, I wake up from 6:00 to 6:45 a.m. and feel like I'm heading to the torture chamber. There's so much to endure every day once getting to school, on the way home, or at home. Once I get to school, I'm instantly regretting going. If I ever do go willingly, it's because I only came to see my friends. Every time I'm willing to go though, they want nothing to do with me except for two or three of them. The substitutes all have a staring issue and won't stop staring at me, making me very uncomfortable. The one I have right now is fuckin weird and she won't stop looking at me and I'm like, "What the fuck did I do to you? You racist or something?" The bus ride to school and back is crazy enough. Whenever my older brother, my neighbor, and I get on, the bus is calm. Until the kids at the next stop get on. As soon as they step onto the bus, the whole back of the bus goes crazy. The vaping, the music, and the drama start. I normally wait for my friend to get on the bus but sometimes, she sits with someone else. Even if there's no one with me, I end up being alone. My brother never lets me sit with him, or talk to him. If I text him he ignores me, but he does all of those with my neighbor Lily except text because he doesn't have her number. I don't understand it but it could just be a teenage phase. I never know what I did to him if I ever did anything because as soon as we get home, all of a sudden I exist again.
After school is a whole nother story that I'll explain in part 2.
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