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I've loved you for 2 years straight. I couldn't even look in your eyes when I found out that you got a girlfriend. The things i felt, such as anger, sadness and hopelessness made me go crazy. I can't believe that you have someone that's not me. After all the joy, sadness, trauma and loss we've been trough together. I feel selfish for saying this, but I don't want her or anyone else to see those sides of you that I've seen. Even tho we weren't together, you treated me like I meant a lot to you. But now I realised that we won't be together anymore. We can't. Only, because you chose someone else, when I was here every.single.time. I don't think you thought about me, nor our friendship when you decided to be someone elses partner for life. I can't tell you enough how I hate this good-for-nothing situation. We talk, but we also don't. Your whole personality changed to someone, I never knew before. I don't think you see it this way and I don't want you to understand since it's too late. You love someone else. I can't even cry anymore, not like it will change anything anyway. I'll miss you too much but I'll try to move on and get better by myself. I don't want to make anyone feel the same way as you made me feel like. I know, it may not be your fault, but I can't think of anything else right now. I'm sure I'll forgive you, because it's not something you can or want to change. I'm honestly lost. My days, weeks, months and years will feel empty without you. I just hope I won't ever see you again, but I guess it's impossible unless I move to the end of the world, or one of us die. I obviously don't hate you that much that I want your death, but I won't attend to your funeral nor wedding. This soul bonding, soul crushing thing ended between us the second your heart and mind decided that you love her. I don't want anything, just for you to feel and experience the same things I did, because of you. I hope you will think of me, when they finally happen. And if they don't, I shall experience all this, but from your point of view.
Your dearest, S.
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Beautiful S, the most amazing thing is that you experienced love, sensation, passion, feeling, emotion. You are someone who rejoices in others’ happiness whether or not their happiness has to do with you. Your heart is full of love! Thank you for writing this. This happens often. It has happened to me many times, may even still be happening. Now I have a new mindset. I will express myself. I will love. Whether or not I am loved back is my concern no longer. Thank you for being you, for being beautiful, for loving, but most importantly for being you!
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