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I've lived all my life not being enough ,,to everyone around me I've never had the satisfaction of being enough. Growing up my mom and dad have been comparing me to my older sister this always dimming me unfit . In high school I had a best friend who always treated me the way she wanted like she'll do something and I'll be the one to apologize to her . When I completed high school and qualified for the university I thought to myself ooh at least I'm going to a place where everyone belongs .let me shock you I'm now in my second year at the University and I've never belonged . There is always something different about me . I'm different from my classmates from how they dress how they talk and even how they make their hair . I don't have enough money so I settle for cheap styles which make me even more uglier . I detest myself to the extent that I don't even attend classes I fear that people look at me and judge me . I don't know if it's because of the size of my breasts but my breast ain't that big . My best only friend who is also my roommate stopped talking to me without telling me what I did wrong . She only comes to the house to take a shower or if she needs anything and does it without talking to me . It's Thursday now and I've been crying since Monday Haven't been out of the house . The outside world is not meant for me . I've looked for waus to land in the hospital but have had non . I feel like I'm slowly dying
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gosh i wish i were there and could whack the people around you harley quinn style.
"People are shitty for a lot of reasons. Sometimes they're just shitty people. Sometimes people have been shitty to them and, even though they don't realize it, they take that shitty upbringing and go out into the world and treat others the same way. Sometimes they're shitty because they're afraid. Sometimes they choose to be shitty to others before others can be shitty to them. So it's like self-defensive shittiness.”
just this quote i read from a book and it resonates so much because well thats just what the world is like sometimes but then there are also quotes like- "People are stupid. But the tiniest few might actually mean well."
i hate that you are surrounded with such toxic people and had to grow up being compared. You are enough, you are more than enough, you are an overflowing stream of enough. And there is nothing wrong with you, you were just made to feel that way and THAT is so incredibly wrong because no one deserves that. Focus on yourself sweets, find things you love, pick up hobbies, dig deeper, fish harder im sure you will find someone similar to you that you can gel and hang out with someone who makes u feel better about yourself. Its not over yet, you are so so strong for bearing all of that so dont give up now. Find a good group of friends to circle yourself with and in the meantime, love yourself because you deserve so soso much more of it <3333333333
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