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Hi. I always remember how you send 🙂 instead of 😊. How I got crazy and speed things up. How I smiled. How you cried. How I messed things up. How you gave up. How you let go. How I let go. How I begged when everything sink in. How you ignored my phone calls. How I called you on WhatsApp and how I paid an expensive bill to be able to call your Australian number. How I left you voice mails. How I sent you multiple emails, multiple chats. How I felt when I got no response.
It was all crazy. You told me I was crazy. And yes, I was indeed crazy. I mean I got crazy. I was so in love that I acted insane. But was I inlove with you? I wasn't. I was in love with the idea of having you as my boyfriend. I thought you were cool. But deep in my heart, I just want to make my friends jealous.
I am writing this here, because this is one of the moments in my life when my conscience is whispering to me. Because yes, I was guilty of something. I'm guilty of being the worst person you've dated. I watched how my intense love and affection suddenly turn into pain, suffering and anger.
Right now, I am writing this with no feelings. Really. I don't wanna hurt you. I don't wanna hurt anyone. I don't wanna hurt myself. But it still happened. I cursed you. I was wrong for doing that.
You unblocked me and reached out on messenger before blocking me again. Right now, my Facebook is deleted. Instagram is deleted, WhatsApp is no longer available.
All I really want now is to be at peace. To not have hard feelings toward anyone. So thank you for forgiving me. For saying that you forgive me.
This post is not all about what went wrong but this is all about how I will make up for it. You made me a better person. I will always be thankful for your lesson.
If I could wish one thing right now and if it will be 100% granted by fate, I wish you would just stay for good in Mexico or in Canada. Please do not go back to my country, not even for vacation. I'm worried you may meet someone that knows me and all my privacy will be exposed. I have protected my privacy for a very long time and I had managed to keep my reputation best in the community. I do not want anyone, especially yourself to ruin it. Yes. That's how much power I gave you. That's how much power you are holding.
Please do not weaponize my vulnerabilities.
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