I want to feel better

There is just something so sick and twisted about being isolated from everyone else and being at home with your parents who don’t like you. I know I’m the least favorite of the siblings. I wouldn’t mind it so bad if it wasn’t so obvious. Being yelled at and told that nothing I do is good enough and I’m not trying on top of health crises and trying to keep everything afloat has been horrible. I try so hard at everything but it’s never enough. I am beginning to feel like I will never escape this feeling. I am blamed and yelled at for things that aren’t my fault. I am so lonely and neither of my parents say anything nice to me. My dad screams at me and my mom lets him because she quietly agrees. I am afraid I will become homeless. My dad constantly yells at me about how he’s so sick of me and how I can’t do anything right. How everyone else is doing way better than me and that I’m the only one struggling. No help with anything either, just yelling at me to do better. That he was never as pathetic as me. I don’t honestly think I am pathetic. I work really hard at everything and am good at making friends when I can have them. But living at home has taken the soul out of me. I just want to be good and to be loved. I’m already good. I am so tired all of the time