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I always knew it was bad, but now I know that nobody knows how excruciating it is to face it and still live. It's like it's still there. I still remember the feeling of their touch and I can't get rid of it. I can't forget the feeling of their hands on me. I feel dirty and disgusting. I want to scratch off my skin and remove all traces. I feel so disgusting. Do I really have to keep living when I can't get rid of the feeling of their hands?? This isn't even the first time. I hate it here. Why are people like this. I wanna get out of my body. I don't wanna be myself anymore. I can't get the feeling of their hands out of my mind. I hate it so much. I wish I were something else. I wish I were a cat, or just a plant swaying in the breeze. Then maybe I wouldn't be subjected to this agony of consciousness. I really just want to scratch off my skin and rip it to shreds.
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I am so, so sorry this happened to you. You did nothing to deserve this. Do you have any close friends or family to confide in about this?
ReplyThank you for caring about a stranger. I really wish I could confide in someone but it's hard to tell someone that the person who did this was a family member. If it was a random stranger, then maybe people would sympathize better. But I don't think they could see me the same since its not only sa but incest.
ReplyIt sounds like telling family isn't a good idea. How about a friend?
Reply