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One of these days man... one of these days I'm going to keep my mindset. I'm so tired, I don't want anything to do with this symphony of life; some people tell you "I don't want it if it's that easy" while I say that I do want it if it's that easy. Is this a competition to see who is the hardest? 'Cause I'm soft as a butterfly. I don't want it anymore, it's not that nice. I fantasize with someone getting inside my mind quite often, and in my mind I try to pretend, if someone did that, that I don't care... but in reality, I want them to appreciate in detail what's going on inside my mind. I am a big selfish machine, like almost everyone. My destiny's been set, the only hope I have is to lend a hand to people who actually contribute to society; I would like to give my grain of sand in some way, instead of taking and consuming everything I see around me. I think I'm a worthless sack of crap. But you know what? It doesn't matter; 'cause life is stupid and it's a contradicting mess all the time. Time, that thing that the more it changes the more it stays the same. I also fantasize, like a lot, about a genie granting me a wish; if you would like to know my wish, I would wish for him to grant me the one wish that's on my mind and ask him also for him to interpret it well... I know, it's silly, but my wish would be the best wish you would ever hope for... because it includes everything and everyone, and it would be basically asking for "perfection and goodness in all things"; I know what you think, no one wants the easy way; everyone wants the hard way... that's what heroes do... they never take the easy path. Sigh. Man, I wish life would continually allow me to have things. The eventuality of things is really discouraging. Will one day life and everything be everlasting and beautiful? I feel a weird pressure emanating out of things... something that never allows me to keep my mindset, and I'm honestly tired. The more I convince myself, the harder I struggle to catch up, the more people and life pressure me to maintain it and hold on for dear life, because apparently I have to prove that I'm not some kind of lie or error in the matrix or something. I'm tired...
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