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such a simple thing I crave, FRIENDS. Even at this age, I cant seem to make friends for some reason and its been that way for 3 years. Ever since I started highschool I eventually realised I didnt belong in anyones friendgroup and all I was to others was their "backup friend" (their friend isnt here, they'll talk to me) and like, I cant believe I haven't got ANYONE. No one to mess around with, no one to revise with, no one to rant to things about, no one to tell about my day, I dont have anyone to talk to about guy problems, I HAVE NO-ONE. You get the idea, right? But then again, isnt it better this way? I'm alone, I'm used to my own company by now, (although I crave having someone by my side) and yeah, thats about it.. I don't feel like I belong. I dont go to the social areas in the morning if I'm early at school, I just aimlessly walk around outside of the school building and I just feel awkward. If I went I'd just stand there alone and just UGH NO THANK U. Its always the pretty girls with the good friendgroups, supportive, always together, nothing brings them down. Yet, I can't manage to even have ONE friend? Honestly I just want someone so I know I belong. I dont even eat or have a proper break at school, just constant daily thing of trapping myself in the bathroom to pass the time (i dont even eat lunch bc i have no one and no where to sit, n I get so tired cs I dont eat) and so no one sees me, but by now most people in my class KNOW I'm always at the bathroom. I just like being alone, but I hate feeling alone. Everyones got friends here, and bro I just wanna do normal things friends do. Do eachothrs makeup, get ready together, go out for food/desserts, go over to eachothers homes, OR EVEN JUST TALK. IS IT THAT HARD TO JUST WANT A FRIEND? Doesn't help that my ex-bsf betrayed me for someone disgusting (by disgusting I mean she's AWFUL, this girl used to insult both me and ex bsf but ex bsf chose her over me??) then eventually her friendship group just expanded and she's NEVER seen alone. Always with her friends, enjoying her time. God it hurts like hell. I lost hope of finding anyone here, in this shitty highschool, all ill find are girls who'll ruin me. I'm scared of making friends too, like ill happily communicate with someone and talk w them, but just the fear of getting close to someone, getting used to not being alone anymore and relying on someone else's company to be confident, and then they leave u just LIKE THAT?? like NOOO I don't wanna go thru that again. So what the hell is someone like me supposed to do? Barely get enough time for myself, always focusing on school and keeping my grades high but whats the point if I'm not happy and have no friends? I just about make it thru the week and tbf all I wanna do is js sleep and never wake up again. I'm so tired these days, physically and mentally I just GIVE UP. Wth am I actually suppose to do? Take up a hobby, get 'online friends'? No thank u. Don't have the time, nor do I have the hope or energy anymore.
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Are there any clubs or groups for things you're interested in? That would be a nice way to meet people. Don't be afraid to try something completely new either :)
ReplyThank you for taking the time to read and comment. Your words mean the world!
ReplyAll after school ones, I don't have time :(
ReplyWhat do you typically do after school instead?
ReplyMy daughter had this same problem when she was in high school and she found another girl who had no friends like her and they became friends. Then a new girl started school and the three of them were friends until they left. So, try to find another friendless girl like yourself and make friends with her.
ReplyI did this a while back, and it just made me realise there's literally NO ONE here for me. Friended a girl who had no one else, and she showed me why no one else wanted to be her friend.
ReplyI’m 35 years old and you are literally describing my life in high school.
Trust me you will be all the wiser and avoid so many problems by having the strength to stand alone, humans are by nature social animals as a survival strategy.
Keep those grades up. Be a confident and secure lone wolf. That confidence is magnetic. People will be drawn to you sooner or later? But guess what? You won’t need them. They won’t define you. You won’t crave their validation. They won’t have power over you. They won’t be able to manipulate you, use you, abuse you, make you conform, buy their products, change you.
Good job my friend.
You are a world champion at life. I’m so wholeheartedly proud of you and the great impact and significant role model you ARE for this world!
Excellent job. I’m honored to be alive on this earth at the same time with someone as wonderful as you! We are so lucky to have you!
ReplyThank u!! But it gets so tiring at times 💔
Reply