I don't know why

Some days feel like I went too far. I have an overthinking mind and it won't ever shut up. I really need a break from everything... but am I gonna? It truly feels like there's so much hurt in the world, and I live my life under the assumption that I've considered everything and everyone. Some days definitely feel like too much. I'm always close to a comfort zone, but I know that bad things happened before, so that's why everything has a risk... the risk that something bad might happen to you even if you think you've got it. Today was saddening, heartbreaking, all over the place; I ate too much because of my anxiety and made a huge mix in my stomach. It's hard guys, like I want to say a line or sentence that would satisfy everybody, sorta like "we are still in this together, trying to discover the truth" or "people are more deep than they appear at first sight, so have a little more hope in them", etc.; things that would make someone think I'm not just talking about another boring relationship or a broken friendship. I have become a mind, like I need to get out of there, but every effort I make sinks me deeper into overthinking, stress and anxiety. But I know it gets better... I have an idea of what happiness is. I am a loser, aren't I? People have bigger problems than mine. I am a nobody and no one cares about me, except for those people who care in the back of their minds. I think it's called derealization, what I'm feeling now. I've gone silent, my mind is typing these words; I feel numb, and have fallen too comfortable in myself. I don't know guys; some days it feels like there's so much hurt in the world, like I said. And I am sorry to say this, but I'm not working hard to make a difference, because I know my limitations, and I kinda gave up on the idea of me contributing anything bigger to the world; sometimes giving up is wise. I also hate when my mind theorizes and won't stop making ideas about the world around me... it's really tiresome. Sometimes I truly don't feel normal. Sorry, I derailed. I don't feel so good right now. I hate still getting in these compromises and having to wait for it to get better... because let's face it, I'm no longer in control, and I will hardly ever be. Do I sound narcissistic or self-absorbed? I'm sorry, again. I'll leave it there. I hope you enjoyed listening to my rant.