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When I see his face
I feel warmth flood my body, so much so
I feel my inner body is unbalanced and I am overcome with nausea
Some might describe this feeling as
Butterflies in your stomach
I like to call it that inescapable feeling of wanting something so bad you feel unwell without it
No one
Understands me
No one
Understands him like I do
How can I get so much comfort and understanding from someone who does not know I exist
Why do I rely on people, practically figments of my imagination, to get me through the day
He does not really exist
No one
Knows him like I do
Yet, every time I see him on my phone screen
I want to jump through
Just his presence
Just one acknowledgment of existence
I create playlists, sketchbooks, hours of daydreams dedicated to this individual
Because I’m so afraid of reality
Of real people
I need someone I can constantly rewrite to my liking
No one
Loves him like I do
No one
Loves me like he does
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