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If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
why am i not the first choice? why do i have to scream to be seen? why can’t i be desired? i carry so much weight in my legs. i'm so tired. every day i just replay the same hopeless mantra. i want to be excited to live, but i fear my life. i’m so tired of seeing children burn. i feel exhausted every day. staring at a blank white wall is more enjoyable than watching tv. my depression sinks me into the floor. there is a void. depression past your teen years is dark and twisted. he won’t let me go. i just want to cry sometimes. i have to be extremely anxious to cry. i don’t understand where my emotions even go. i turn completely hollow. i'm so fucking tired. sometimes i get very close to drinking all my cough syrup. or taking all my pills. or driving into water. there is no happy ending, just an end to suffering
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This sounds like your pills aren't working so go back to your doctor and talk to him/her about this and see what can be done.
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