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Dear Dad,
You gave me a fucked start to my life. I don't have very many happy memories with you before the age of 10 and i only have those because grandma and grandpa made you. All of the arguments you and Mom had that my older sister hid me from. I bet that you didn't think that I noticed all of the times you weren't home because you were out at a bar cheating on my mom with the woman you are married to now. I don't know if you know that even as a little kid I would worry about you and i continue to worry about you. You didn't love my mom and split up before I turned 6. I honestly wish that was the worst of it but it isn't. That is just where my life took a turn for the worse. You left me and didn't look back. It didn't phase you when my mom told you that I had tried to kill myself , I honestly don't think that you shed a tear.
Hell you couldn't even sit through my high school graduation. I know I'm not the son that you wanted. I know that you held resentment towards me for being a girl that's why you gave me a "boy" name right? I carried the weight of being the unwanted daughter that you could care less about. What I don't understand is how you can love your other daughter my younger sister so much more than me. I don't understand how you cater to her every need when I can't get you to answer my phone call. For almost 15 years I have been trying to get you to love me and realize that I am your kid too. 15 years of hoping that you'll change. I guess what I am trying to say is that I shouldn't be the only one trying to fight for a relationship with you and your parents, my grandparents shouldn't have been the ones fighting for us to have a relationship when i was a kid. You should have been the one fighting. I can't be the only one fighting anymore.
sincerly,
your daughter
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