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Me and my friend have known each other for about 6 months now. We used to just be friends but got closer when we realised how well we got along. We had many similarities in the way we speak and think. We can talk really easily with each other about anything and we sometimes get really intimate in our speech. He was very loving and caring but I couldn't return the feelings yet because it was about a month after my breakup with my ex bf, so I didn't trust if my feelings were "like" or just me wanting someone to fill the empty feeling I had at the time.
So I told him I'd like take things slow for now, lets not be too intimate and lets control ourselves more. He agreed, he wanted to make sure I'm okay and I wanted to make sure of my feelings, I didn't wanna lead him on or go into anything yet.
Months pass, I finally came to the conclusion that I do like him. Note that during the those months, we were still pretty intimate- we would sleep call, voice call every week. We're also friends so we would play games with each other and our friend group almost every day as well. We just lessened it by not flirting with each other and getting jealous over us hanging out with other people. I decided to confess to him one morning when we were just chilling. I knew that I was going to be rejected but I wanted to do it anyway.
And I did. And he couldn't return my feelings.. He told me that, he doesn't feel that spark anymore. He felt that spark before but when we decided to hold back on ourselves, he did that and now suddenly, the spark just disappeared. He cried, I cried. He doesn't understand why he doesn't feel that way anymore cuz he really wanted it.. He wants it now too but this time, he feels like he's not ready.
I didn't think it would hurt me so much cuz I already knew I was going to be turned down. I wanted to confess anyway because I can't stand this situation that we have. Friends aren't so intimate and special with each other in this way and I wanted to be clear about our relationship so that we don't have to hold back and we can nurture this into something. But he can't. He isn't ready.
I wonder if I was too late? A part of me wishes I didn't ask for us to slow down and hold back our feelings. We enjoy each other's company, we love spending time together but what we feel and want from each other is different. He wants the companionship and I want him to like me back. Even as I'm typing this, we're in a voice call together, he's sleeping and I just woke up and couldn't stop thinking about this whole thing.
I don't know what to do.
I really do feel like we could be something- I'm being so desperate right now. Do we need to stop the sleep calls and the talks we have? Can I still like him eventho he can't return the same feelings? I know I deserve better but I just, I just really like him..
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You didn't do anything wrong. Your decision was best for both of you. Now let me ask you a question. Are you sure that if you didn't take things slow and got together .He wouldn't have done the same shit ! What kind of shit is this that he lost those sparks so soon. Love isn't a game. It doesn't work like "I loved you a few months ago but you're late so, I don't love you anymore ". You shouldn't waste your time or feelings over someone like him . I'd say that you got lucky that you didn't accept his feelings that time. And you should cut him off from your life. He might be a good friend but he is bad for your heart and your mental health.
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