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This is what venting seems to be all about, just complaining. I think this life is cruel. What could I ever say that would make a difference? Nothing it seems. I've said it all like everyone. Never nothing good to say, which starts to sound really dramatic over time and it's like... what the hell dude, is life really that bad? I don't know, I just feel hopeless. Life is so long for a human but everything in it is short-lived. I wish any of the times I cared about everyone would have mattered but it's a big world and everyone should hold their own. Torturous this existence and I don't want it anymore. The world is getting mean and a lot of people are giving up to being shitty to others, and some people are already really sad and miserable that they want to make everyone feel like them. I do not want this gang. All the near death experiences I had (if you can call them that) were gratifying and I wished I would have died back then when I was in agonizing pain. I know... I know... it gets better, but like I said, it's short-lived. When it does get better it's only fleeting at least for me. It last as much fun I'm having watching a video or something. I have given up to go outside because whenever the idea of walking down the streets to go places strikes me I just give up and say it's too tiresome... too tiresome to walk a mile to go back another mile. The moment it gets better I will feel like an hypocrite; the moment this posts becomes several days old I will go back and nothing I said would have mattered. Well, if it makes me feel good about myself writing something that at least I can relate with... and hopefully someone would relate too but then you get awful things and misplaced hate and I truly don't know how to cope with that bully behavior people have sometimes. I wish if people had nothing good to say to just not say anything, because to me only kindness makes sense. For future reference: boredom is the enemy, entertainment is key.
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