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I just watched a video of a young girl talking about how does it look like to live with bipolar disorder. She was in her 20s, an artist, musician, actor, comedian and singer. She had type two bipolar. According to her sayings, bipolar disorder starts to show up in 25 year old. She also had some down time while she was in school. it was like the need to be alone and avoiding socializing. in bipolar she experienced periods of hyperactivity which is also called as Mania and periods of feeling down which is called depression. the difference is these periods last longer in bipolar type one and shorter in bipolar type two. She also used drugs and alcohol and drugs while living the symptoms of bipolar. It is not fun, even in mania periods, when you are hyperactive and you want to stay awake all the night, and reorganize the entire furniture of your home or start cleaning nonstop. She was raised in a family where having a mental illness was not very accepted or dealt with seriously. Her mother was also dealing with deep depression, and she thinks that she came after her mom. She also committed suicide when she was 17. Now she is happy that she can manage her bipolar disorder by doing meditation in periods of mania and go for hiking in periods when she is feeling low. or similar other activities.
When it comes to me, this is the first video that caught my attention when I opened YouTube to learn something, which has many reasons. Firstly, when I first learned about this disorder, I thought I have it too. It was scary to the point that I wanted to get rid of this thought and stay still and careless. That was because I experienced the same thing in specific situations, like my period or while there was chaos in my home. I tried to play with my mind and start doing things to distract my attention to real things that was happening around me and I had no power over it. and on other times I was feeling depressed for not real reason, just overthinking and dire need for staying alone and far from everyone including my family. However, overtime I got to know that this is not too serious, it happens in everyone's life and knowing the fact that I am introvert made more sense to disbelieve having bipolar.
Furthermore, when I come to Qatar I sensed much more of these symptoms in me which sometimes was non stop and made me feel paralyzed. Specially these days in which I am experiencing a lot of new things and realizing that there is a lot of things to relearn and learn for the first time. All these complex feelings creates a chaos inside my mind and it led me to take a day off from my job and start looking for solutions and upgrading my skills and start doing new things that helps me find my real self and become the best version of myself. It is also worth mentioning that I am not as much brave as that girl to go to a psychotherapist and ask for help or hear that I have bipolar or acknowledge that. I am happy that I am here today, this is the first step I have taken to achieve my authentic self.
This is the first piece of knowledge that I shared here, i don't care if someone reads it or not, or if I made my point clear or not. this imperfection makes me feel happy for the first time.
I will be sharing whatever I learned from the YouTube channels that I already subscribe and will share it with you guys.
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