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her name is Gabriella
she was the sky, simple yet everything. She was always there. She was someone who was willing to give up everything just to make you feel loved. She did anything for anyone, even to those who did her wrong. She'd make sure you're smiling and laughing even when you're going through something rough. She was ... everything. Every time she smiled, which was quite often, you started to smile around her too, she was the reason everyone was so happy. Her smile always made you think nothing could hurt her or that nothing is hurting her...yet that poor smile hid something the rest of us have not yet figured out. She wrote letters to everyone. And they all had little dates on it. Mine was the last date before her passing. The last note was me. Almost 4 years together, just a day before our 4 year anniversary. I didn't know whether to be mad at you. But I was. And I yelled at everyone. I had become broken. So broken that even my family couldn't help, so helpless yet they tried for me, and I cried every goddamn day of my life, because why would you lie? Or hurt me like this? And stupidly enough, I yelled at you too. I yelled at you for leaving, for kys, for thinking that it would make someone feel glad you left. Do you know how much love people had for you, the amount of guys who tried to get with you, because you were so perfect. So perfect and I had to push them away because you were mine, mi amor. Forever mine. I haven't dated since you left, which is about 2 years and 348 days. I don't plan on it. I still text you, yk that?
fuck I can't finish this for you Gabriella,
you fucking left me.
Alone.
In this world.
What fucking for? Why didn't you just fucking tell anyone what was wrong.
You hurt me.
I'm so hurt.
I never loved anyone like I loved you.
But you're gone.
You left me helpless and alone.
You hurt me, and I'll never recover.
Because in the end, it's all my fault.
I love you more Gabriella.
I won, you can't say it back.
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This is heart wrenching! Not sure what to say, if there is anything at all to say. In all this pain, I am with you. Having someone to talk to can be helpful. What do you need most?
ReplyIm sorry you had to go through this, I can feel the pain in every letter that was typed and read. This kind of hurt takes a while to heal.. I dont think this kind of pain truly ever completely goes away, I've learned from my own experience that some days are easier than others. Also, having a support system in place makes a difference. I truly believe loved ones who have passed would want us to be happy and that they continue watching over us weather we know it or not. You're not alone in this. Allow yourself time to heal 🫂🌹
Replyyou never recover from the loss of a loved one all you can do is to learn how to cope with a hole in you life they left behind , with time the frequency of mourning decreases but it does not stop . All i can say is try to live a good life be the person she was to others , fulfill the hole she left in other life .
ReplyI didn't expect this. I have chills from head to toe and in tears. I am so sorry and I can't imagine the heartache, anger,confusion, every emotion you could think of that you are going through. I am so sorry. I am stuck on what to really say other than I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. My love, hugs and positive vibes go out to you. I hope that one day you can start to heal.
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