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my boyfriend frequently gets mad at me for not being more open about previous guys i liked. i never thought of them as more of a crush but he still stays upset. i dont like talking about them cuz i feel uncomfortable talking about another guy and remembering how cringe i was when i had a so called crush. he logged into my instagram with my permission but he started going thru my archive. i used to post about them on my close friends story during my 10th grade year of high school. he said hes mad at me for not telling him. am i in the wrong? should i tell him? if so, how could i tell him? i dont want to give off a vibe that i find excitement in having a hallway crush. i feel so embarrassed. i dont want him to think that i like them more than him cuz it was never more than that. i LIKED them but i never loved them. i only love him. hes the only man i actually loved. do i tell him tho? cuz it also upsets me that he doesnt tell me about his crushes. he just says they talked and this and that but i feel he knows more about my crushes than i know about his. i know this doesnt change the fact that i never told him about the crushes in my 9th and 10th grade year. (im gonna be honest, i completely forgot about them). but apart from that, hes seen all the embarrassing things ive said about them. im so ashamed of myself.
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Most people don't want to hear about anyone their gf or bf had before them because they want to be the priority. Why does he want to know about your previous crushes? What has any of this got to do with him?
ReplyA relationship is a two way street that requires trust and understanding. People are naturally curious. However, respecting boundaries comes before appeasing our curious minds. I personally have no problem speaking on my past relationships. If asked this or that, I’d answer honestly. Beforehand, I’d let them know that my honesty should not be used against me. The past is the past and cannot be taken back. You both should be able to be open and honest with another. If it may be something uncomfortable, let one another know and have the respect to not push. From my own experience, I’ve learned that it can be healthy talking about any past experience. It allows you to open up and share why you are the person you are today. The best we can do is aim to be a better person than we were the day before. Sending happy vibes your way!
ReplyStay focused on your educational goals. Romance at your age is very fickle, fun, but fickle. Today we live in a dual income society, and marriage is not needed, but marriage is the ideal structure for rearing family since the marriage is the kid's family. But kids your age aren't ready for marriage. Earn your degree or certified skill, and in no time you'll be mature and surrounded by mature, single men. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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