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I was always warned not to fall in love with someone’s potential. And yet I myself have all this potential and there is so little movement, no matter how much I want it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My dad chewed me out the other day because he just doesn’t think I’m trying enough. I am, I swear to god. I keep this house together and I get good grades and I write and I cook and I do all the things, but it just isn’t my full potential. I feel like I may never live in the right “path” for it. I feel like I may always feel unfulfilled. Because it’s not that I really think I’ll be able to do and see everything, I’d need a couple of lifetimes for that, even though I’m young now. It’s my inability to get stuff off the ground for years and not understanding what I’m really doing wrong. Maybe I expect too much with too little effort, because I know I could set calendar reminders and then simply fulfill them. I put the reminders but something always gets in the way. I just feel so burnt out because I’m always thinking about everything I want to do, and knowing I haven’t been able to do any of it. I don’t lose my ideas; I slap all my lyrics and mock up for clothes designs and things like that in a folder. I hope I can get back to it, but I never do. My dad says he doesn’t understand, that I have such a strong will and that I can learn very quickly, and I don’t get it either. I don’t want to punish myself for not doing things that aren’t even required of me, but I am so tired of constantly feeling like I can’t even graze my own potential. I know I’m smart, I know I’m talented, but nothing comes out.
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You seem to have a 'what's the use ' attitude where you think about doing something and then you can't see the use so you give up. You could be afraid of failing as well so you can't see the point in trying. To change this attitude think of yourself as an achiever, a winner, and being successful. Give yourself plenty of time to do something so don't put things into a folder. Leave them out and get onto them straight away before you have time to hope you can get back to them. Tell yourself that NOW is the time to start on them and keep going until you finish and don't let anything else get in the way! Remember the saying: 'nothing ventured nothing gained' which means you won't gain anything at all by leaving things and hoping you will get back to them. Send another post when you can say that you have achieved what you set out to do. We are here waiting.
ReplyI know the feeling; I have a bunch of dreams I've left on the floor. In my humble experience, some of us work better under pressure, and we need someone or something to put pressure on us or else we'll lose focus. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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