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I currently live a happy life but I feel like I should be living a different life. I've been married for 18 years. I love my husband, that's not the issue. But I feel like I'm missing out on the literal world.
I make friends easily and am not timid when it comes to meeting interesting people. I'm drawn to people who seem a like different in some way. I'm drawn to people with an edge. I like when there's something under the surface that I can't quite see. Because these types make me curious, I often strike up conversations with those types. In turn, I end up meeting the most fascinating people. Initially, they seem like the rest of us but after some time, I find out how interesting they really are. I have a knack for drawing in people on a higher social ladder. They often lead very different lives. I've become friends with people in the music industry, exceptionally wealthy people who have homes in the Virgin Islands, people who are celebrities but don't want to label it, etc. I've been invited to some amazing places.
"The yacht will be docked that week so you should come with us! We're going to Costa Rica for the week."
"I would love to take you to St. Croix! I want to show you these cool little cacti that grow all over the desert side of the island. My family has a home there and I would love to have you."
"We're headed to Australia in November. We'd be happy to have you along!"
"I can get you backstage passes if you want to come hang out after the show! I'll introduce you to ___."
"I go to Aruba every spring. You could tag along next time. It would be nice to have someone to go with."
I'm nearly 40 now but have been drawn to life that way since I was young. It feels right, like it's in my bones. I enjoy surrounding myself with successful, interesting people. I like generous, worldly personalities. But I always say no because I'm married. I feel like I'm missing out on this incredible world out there. I understand that I'm trading experiences for love but I feel like I'm supposed to be living a different life. I feel like I'm supposed to have a different group of friends. I want the freedom and opportunity to go.
I meet these people face to face. It's not like I'm seeking them out. We just find each other in the world. I'll be standing next to someone random. I'll get a good feeling and compliment something about them. The conversation unfolds and soon, I learn that their family owns an island or something. It's always been like that for me. I'm meant for something bigger.
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Why can't you go on a holiday if you are married? Can't your husband look after himself for a while?
ReplyHe's introverted and has said many times that he envies my social abilities. He's a good man. However, he has an introverted personality and gets jealous of others' success easily. He also has social anxiety and often picks fights before going out somewhere, which ruins the night. I always have more fun without him. So I would want to go on these adventures alone which would understandably bother him. Imagine your wife/husband flying off on these trips with other extravagant couples or singles. It's not exactly an ethical thing for me to do. But oh, the adventures I would have!!!
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