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It sucks, okay? Idk what to do, Idk what i feel. I'm so so so angry and irritated but I don't show it outside. I don't wanna hurt other people, and I've been practising controlling my anger for years that I have mastered it. I have exams after 4 days. And I took a drop year to prepare for that exam. I thought I could study for a whole year, but it sucked. I got depressed. I already was. But it got worse and I had to ask for help. Now I'm taking medications, and well, its working but still. Deep down, I'm scared about the exams, Ik that. I wanna get into a good college and make myself proud. I have studied all these months, but now I just cant. I'm procrastinating af. I would rather do anything else than study now. It sucks, it really does. Mental Health is very much important while preparing for exams, and idk. I'm not lazy. Ik that. I was so hardworking and now I just-idk. I don't if it's the fear of failing or whatever in depth fears that i have about these exams, but I can't handle it anymore. They say I'm depressed because of the stress. Stress induced depression and whatnot. Idk actually. I've been feeling this way for years and I was supressing it, trying to be happy in front of others. I'm also scared what would happen after these exams. They all say after these exams are over, I'll be fine. I'll be happy again. It's just a phase. Even the therapists say it. I cant blame them. It might be that, idk. Whatever this is, there's just 4 more days, and If I don't revise or study, I'm gonna regret this my whole life. Ik all that. But I still feel zero motivated to do so. I suck. Ik. Back then, it was just a starting trouble. I just had to "sit" on my desk to study. But now even if i sit there, I just study for 5 minutes and then start to zone out or feel sleepy. It's like I care and I don't, at the same time. Idk what to do.
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Let’s get to the bottom of this, it seems your fear is holding you back and the fear is likely stemming from low confidence in yourself. I would suggest as a non expert (me) that you change your subconscious mind to build yourself up. There’s quite a few hypnosis sessions on YouTube to boost confidence. Go through some of those if you wish. If you don’t physically exercise a few times a week you should definitely start. Let’s get one thing out of the way to, your telling yourself that you’ll have lifelong regret if you fail this exam. You can take the exam again, I know this because college is like a business they want your money and will be glad to take you regardless of how many times you took a test. On another viewpoint, college is not your only option. There’s plenty of other options available that maybe better suited for you.
ReplyYeah Ik that I have other options too. But this was MY choice. To take a drop year and stuff, soo. I'm already regretting it. My parents don't actually put too much pressure on me, but I'm stressing myself out to the point I can't study anymore. I'll go through the YouTube vids btw. Thanks !
ReplyStudying is not easy for a lot of people; it's really hard to focus with so many distractions, with so many devices connected all running at once around us; any music and form of entertainment constantly at our fingertips. It's really difficult to focus nowadays, you're not alone. In my humble experience, trying some hands-on activities throughout the day helps "switch gears", for example - playing a musical instrument, playing a sport/basketball/tennis/golf, lifting weights, building crafts, volunteering at fire department, etc. I hope this helps.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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