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I feel so suffocated and annoyed, even after all that suffering I had to go thru bc of my ex-bsf, WHY IS SHE STILL APART OF MY LIFE?? People like that I want nothing to do with them, and honestly I'm so strong for keeping up with her these last 4 years. But I physically and mentally can't do it anymore, its so draining. I hate how our families remained close, even if we broke apart. All her fault that we broke apart too, WHO THE HELL THROWS AWAY MORE THAN A DECADES WORTH OF FRIENDSHIP FOR A GIRL U BOTH HATED?? Seriously, I dont understand WHAT possessed her to do that.
And recently I went thru a tough time since my ma was away from me for a month, and my grandad passed away. And guess what? Ex-bsf, her ma, and sis all think its a good idea to one up me, (e.g I had to go to Turkey and they bragged abt how they'll go to 'better areas') and then they had the audacity to talk about my situation IN FRONT OF ME?? They were like "omg if my ma left me for a month itd be so hard, I'd have to do so and so" "hows it without ur ma?" HOW DO U THINK? I don't wanna talk about the obvious things that r going on. And ex-bsf, talked to me for once in a while, asking me if I was okay. You think someone's gonna be okay after a loved one passes away and someone important in ur life won't be with u for a month? And the fact that it took someone TO PASS AWAY, FOR HER TO TALK TO ME. Disgusting. I hate her.
Feels like karma hit them all back, their grandad passed away today. Might seem selfish or ignorant of me, but it feels like a smack in the face for them, they finally know what I went thru. Imo, its not as worse tho, since ex-bsf won't have to be without her ma for a month. I hated being without my ma, constant questions of "hows it like without her?" WHAT DO U THINK ITS LIKE?? Its so mentally draining, all the housework falls onto me bc the disgusting males in my household decide they don't wanna help no more and its js like wtf. Honestly I'm so fed up with everyone and everything going on rn. I have to celebrate Eid with ex-bsf and her family and I js wanna cry bc I've looked forward to it for no reason. What's the point of me getting all dolled up if I won't be happy? I've got so much schoolwork built up, no motivation to even tackle it and schools IN A WEEK. On top of that, I've begged my ma to let me go to school alone rather than suffering and going w ex-bsf and her sis, but no!! "We'll fall apart if u do that" "You're going with them" I DONT WANT TO. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I DONT WANNA BE WITH THEM ANYMORE. I so badly wish I was just stuck in Turkey forever. It made me feel at peace, and it holds a place in my heart that no one else will.
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