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I feel so useless to my mother. She got mad at me earlier because I complained about my brother leaving the new bag of cat food on the floor and my cats almost tearing it up. All I said was, "ugh, I told him to save it in the garage. It's okay though I'll do it." And she started talking about how irresponsible I am and she told me, "You just start bitching about the cats. You don't want them? Throw them outside." It hurt my feelings. I just want my mommy to love me. I'm sorry mommy that I can't clean my room I'm so exhausted from everything in my life but you don't seem to notice nor care when I told you during a breakdown I had last year. I'm sorry I can't cook for you I'm trying to learn, I look at recipes on my phone and save the ones I know you'll love but when I tell you I'll actually like to try to cook you just scoff and say how much I hate it so I hate it. I'm sorry I'm not skinny, I know you tell me to walk on the treadmill everyday but I just can't school is so draining I can feel myself burning out but you don't care and see me as lazy. I'm sorry for how my voice sounded earlier, I didn't think I sounded rude and I'm sorry I get rude when I'm defensive I just want you to know I don't know why my voice sounds so cruel like dads. Please forgive me mommy im such a horrible daughter I just want you to see me for who I am and how im feeling and to acknowledge my feelings. I told you I'm tired after school and you said "Aren't we all?" I hate that you don't see the sadness in my eyes when you say mean things and don't try to understand me. Mommy please try to understand me more.
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This is really concerning because not only is your mother making a big deal of trivial things like cat food storage but it actually sounds like she’s intentionally belittling you if not full on trying to humiliate and degrade you as a person. If this was a domestic partnership eg man/gf or whatever it would be deemed as abusive so it shouldn’t be overlooked when it’s mother/child either. Even at best this could easily lead to you getting depression and it’ll destroy your self confidence or worth when comparing yourself to other people in future. You’re not beneath anybody even your own mother and you weren’t born to serve or please anyone else either. Her attitude can lead to you believing you’ve got to be a servant to a future partner and that can in some circumstances lead to someone losing their life at worst. Yes I’m describing the worst outcome but no one knows that that won’t transpire in the end. I hope you can get out of that toxic negativity
ReplyStop apologising and some appeasing her. Stop being a doormat.
ReplyYou mom sounds like my mother/family. But, both our parents asked to be parents. They have a responsibility.
And, she needs watch how she talks to her baby! She clearly failed here, not you. You are trying you best, chores, pets, whatever you leave the house for.
She wanted a kids. She got your brither and you, a responsible, caring, effectionate, lovely young person. Who is trying their best and is still growning.
She needs to take her own advice and stop whining, and step up as a parent! She can start my paying more attention to you and your brother! If she did, she would be more emotionally there and as her responsibility help you with the break down you had! Her instincts must not be there, because if that was my baby, I was literally stop everything I'm doing and wanna protect them.
Look.
It's true it's hard to change old people. Or narcissistic.
But, take it from me; you're best solution is to live your own life; let yourself make new friends, good and supportive friends you can talk to honestly for hours are writh keeping. FIGHTING for even.
A genuine way to make friends is clubs ir community areas. I can vouch for clubs.
2. Find away to get your own place; a job/job program, housing agencies, section 8, anything!
3. Let's yourself find a new hobby or enjoy yours. Or a job your passionate about. Also away to meet people you connect with.
Once you finally get stable make it clear to her the only way she's getting involed in your life is if she respects you and your feelings. She are you own, living individual.
Don't worry if it takes years. Let yourself feel confident.
Best of luck & Best wishes!
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