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I just wanna end it all, i don't mean ending my life. But i just want to stop time for 100 years and think, think about my life and if what i'm doing is right. I always feel low these days, i thought sometimes that i shouldn't have been born because i don't think i count that much for my friends.
I'm tired of all this, living in constant fear that my friends don't actually appreciate my company. I just wanna stop giving any signs of life to them just to see if i count for them.
What i meant by end it all is just stop having any social interaction for a while. I just want my friend to tell le that i'm important for them.
I wanna be able to cry in front of them without thinking that if i do it i'll be pathetic, i'm always the nice dude who says "you can talk to me if you're sad" but never talk about how HE feels.
Goodnight to whoever read that.
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I know what you’re going through, believe it or not I think most people do. I see your sadness, fear, and frustration. The way I’ve managed it is that I’ve trusted myself more, I’ve become my own friend. If you don’t like yourself then that’s your soul’s way of telling you something’s not right. Whether it’s that you’re not being honest to who you are or that there’s someone around you that isn’t healthy there’s something.
One thing I WISH someone had told me is this:
You are NEVER less important than anyone else, if someone is getting help but not giving it then they need to be told to fix the behavior or that you’re going to cut them off. These people are leeches and don’t deserve a beautiful person such as yourself. I wish I was told that you deserve the best, and if you ever need someone to listen to you, there’s so many ways to go. If you’re religious pray to your God or deity. If you befriend yourself that’s even better. There’s so many ways to find help, and you are so worth it. Please remember some of what I’ve told you if it helps. And please don’t ever think that no one hears you, or sees you, because no matter what you are seen, loved, heard, and above all, you are you. Perfectly imperfect you, who deserves all of the happiness you can get.
Have a good life. Please stay safe out there.
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