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So I have a very close friend of mine who confessed to me last month about his feelings that he hid for so long. He wrote lots of songs about me and I know him well and that his feelings are genuine.
My family knows him and loves him but I told him that I'm not going in a relationship yet right now. Because I'm focusing on college and I have more dreams and goals and I want to give my family what they want first after I graduate and work. He said he understands that and he will do the same with his family first. His family already knows me even his grandma.
He also told me he would have no problem waiting for me. But I also told him that change is the only thing constant in this world, so if he fell for someone else, i told him i would respect that.
I do have a crush on him, but It's only that. I still set boundaries with my feelings because I don't want to fall in love while working towards my goals because I'm fully aware that relationships take a lot of time and emotional investment and I know I don't have the capacity to be in one yet because I tend to love alone time a lot especially when working on stuff.
He's a pure and kind hearted guy, but some stuff I really am not comfortable with is him being too clingy, panicking too much when I need alone time and when I don't reply to messages much. And him being too touchy only by holding my hands and squeezing them.
But... okay... the reason why I said in the title "I don't think this is cheating"
because before I have a crush on him, I had a crush on my thesis adviser. Everyone in the class knows and he also knows about that. I remember him teasing me about it.
But last sunday I had a coffee with my thesis adviser (for thesis consultation) because we are from the same hometown. I kind of felt this instant connection with my adviser and we have so much similar interest. Our conversation were so funny and we just clicked like close friends and we were talking about books, philosophy and art.
Is it cheating to have a crush again on my thesis adviser?
It's weird because I feel more excited when I'm with my adviser
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Although you are not technically cheating, you are intentionally keeping him in the dark about your crush on the adviser, and you are contradicting yourself by getting into an emotional relationship with your thesis adviser. And it sounds like it could escalate into a physical relationship since you have opened the door to meeting him alone. These things tend to progress. He is actually also risking his job since if someone sees the 2 of you together out in public because it might easily be interpreted as a romantic relationship, which in reality it probably already is since you have a crush on him.
Basically, if he knew the truth, do you think he would be hurt? Are you intentionally hiding the truth from him?
Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible, intangible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Mary, Mother of Christ, intercede for us with your prayers, now, and always.
And after our worst deeds - never forget God forgives us when we repent through Christ Jesus.
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