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It takes over me sometimes and all I do is wait.
Wait for it to consume me, and I get so scared.
I feel so alone.
No one around me understands, or doesn't want to understand
It gets ignored because "you'll be okay"
But I haven't been okay, I won't be okay
Until someone acknowledges it and helps me.
I just want help.
I want release from this hold that is tight on my mind and body.
It comes in waves, like the ocean on a cold, black night.
A quiet night that creeps up after a sunny day,
where the birds are happy and free,
flying where ever they please.
It comes slowly sometimes, quickly at others.
Sometimes I can not foresee such a dark and lonely night,
so what am I to do?
I'm not so sure, so I take it alone and sit on this beach by this cold ocean and let the waves crash
over my body
and
soak
into my soul.
Sometimes I can even say it feels good,
feels good to be alone and cold.
Most of the time, I'd like company.
I'd like for it to be day again,
and feel the sun hit my skin in that refreshing way where you take a deep breath and smile,
feeling the warmth.
Appreciating it.
How long?
How long will this last?
I'm searching for the answers but not finding them,
It causes me deep pain and I have no one to share it with because I don't want to be dismissed.
I envision a fall evening,
a pale kind of sun,
standing in a wood with two paths and I am in the middle.
Stuck, not knowing which way to go as the reeze moves around my body like it would around a wall.
The leaves are falling, yellow red and orange.
I want to be a leaf on a tree, not standing here not knowing where this life will take me,
and,
Who will I become?
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Depression.... will pass. hang in there
Reply....no. Depression doesn't just pass. You've gotta fight for your brain...you gotta show depression to fuck off..depression is a constant mental battle that does far from just "pass". If it 'passes', you do not have depression, you were just sad.
ReplyHang in there your stronger than you give yourself credit
Reply