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I promised myself, and my concerned friends and family, that I'd break up with my boyfriend at the end of the semester. I NEED to do it. Too much has happened-he's been physically abusive, he's been disrespectful and unappreciative, and I'm just tired of it.
But the end of the semester is only 2 weeks away, and every time I think about ending it I feel sick and terrified. I'm just so used to him. We have good moments, despite all the bad ones. I'm scared I'll never find someone that tolerates me.
I need to leave for him, too. Intimacy with him disgusts me, I just think about all the awful things he's done to me. And I haven't been a saint either. I feel like he should understand, like he should get it and know we need to break up and we can end on partially amicable terms, but he doesn't. The slightest mention of a breakup makes him go insane and start crying and begging me to reconsider. I want him to find a girl that he really clicks with, and doesn't have so much of a horrific past with.
That's another thing that scares me, his reaction. I'm an anxious person and I don't do well with stress and I'm just imaging the screaming that will ensue when I tell him I'm leaving. Last time I tried to break up with him he gave me a concussion.
I know I'm going to do it, I have to, I just wanted to vent about how scared I was. I hate being alone, I hate being single, I hate not having someone in my life who's there no matter what. I thought he was the one, but after everything that has happened, I just don't see him that way anymore.
That's all.
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ReplyIve had many friends in you're situation and they all end up loosing every friend and its just hum left. So they feel like they can't leave him as they will have no one. It's not true that's what they say to keep you because as soon as you drop him your friends will come back with hugs and your be ok. They say it takes twice as long as the relationship to get over someone so please go when you ready as I've had two friends pass away from this shit one was pregnant and she told her ex it wasn't his she slept with someone he slit her up. And the other couldn't live without so hung herself.
I know it's super hard to leave someone but as soon as you do it it's like a relief and so much peace knowing you don't have to put up with their bullshit. You can do it qithnthe help of your family and friends and down the road you will start to smile and have fun and have a wonderful life. You are strong and you can do it. Much love x
ReplyI agree with you, it feels impossible to leave because we are so used to them and they are like our daily routine. I m sure you must be missing your self as you have turned out to be a different person for this guy. So to get back to your real self I suggest you do it. And it's good for both of you. It's your gutt feeling u need to trust and it's always right.
ReplyYou're going to be murdered by him. He's violent. You're going to be another statistic. A woman murdered by her partner.
ReplyYep that's why i said what I said my friend died her ex slit her throat while she was pregnant oh fuck I'm crying just talking about it. We were friends from kindergarten all the way up till she passed. And my other friend hung herself I miss them all the time and wonder what they would ne doing if they just left him. I hope for the person who wrote this wakes up and runs far as they can.
Replyhi girl who wrote this here! i thank you for your concern and motivational words...although why would you jinx me like that? lol. I don't worry too much for my safety...my father (who has a basement filled with guns but I pray it doesn't come to that) will be accompanying me when I break up with him. I just worry for the stress of the situation...I cry and have panic attacks very easily. sometimes I worry that I'm making a mistake and he and I could work it out if I just put more effort in...but it's kind strangers like you who open my eyes to the reality of the situation (however harsh it may sound), so thank you very much for the concern
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