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I feel like this is it, this is all my life will ever be. Just unable to feel something new. Living in a small city sucks. I thought I could make it by now. I had a really strong sense of wishful thinking before, something that helped me find reassurance, but I wonder where those days went to. I feel like more things should be happening, or at least I should get notified of them. I'm afraid for the future. Recovery is the only thing that brings me joy anymore, because otherwise I'm just empty mixed with sadness, but I'm tired of healing... I think I just need more. Am I going to get it? No. Am I going to be bored to death every day? Yes. Sigh. However, I need to take it day by day. I don't think it's that worth it only for a temporary lapse of happiness.
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