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I've been sick to my stomach for days. I am unable to sleep, eat or think because my thoughts are cluttered with you. I opened up and became vulnerable to someone again, just to find that they do not give a damn about me. I start to wonder and worry if I will ever hear from you again. Sometimes I regret opening up my mouth at all, but worry that I'll suffocate from not being able to breathe sentences that mention your name. Speaking about the situation only provides me relief for a few moments because then I remember that you are not around to provide reassurance. Companionship seems further away than ever before, and isolation seems to be the best company. I never want to become subject to this kind of pain again, I cannot bear the icy, cold storm ripping through the house of my heart. I didn't prepare enough for this journey. After not hearing from you for the fourth day, I am wondering just how long you would like to keep me in captivity. Tell me the words that are harsh enough to break my soul because it would provide far more goodness than the stand still, the silence. I used to think intelligent people always turned out to be the nicest or that knowing more immediately meant that you knew better, but could the saying be true...is ignorance truly bliss? Maybe the not knowing is always better, and awaiting a response is the very modern torture device. Forget the knives, bondage, etc. Just shackle someone to the idea of being a favorite or an only choice, then bringing them down to the reality of the many other women/men they are in silent competition with. While they sit and scream for an explanation, drop the hints but never illicit a full response. I think I've found it: the newest way to slowly kill a person. I have yet to understand the rules of this game that we call ''dating''. It seems to be a bit too complex and picky. I'm almost certain that even a rule book wouldn't be the knowledge we're all looking for. It's that one unattainable person saying ''you are it'', but then what? We would find our everlasting love and happiness would exude from us. Seem's like the biggest folktale there is, then again, though, im still waiting on a response. Any day now... he will respond shortly.
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