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Adult+ (The Mistress) Debating posting, maybe just parts, maybe none, need to vent...
2 weeks ago · 1 · Stress, +8 · Explicit
100
A memoir of my time with Sons Father (SF), and letter to T.
Started as FwB (December 2017) sinse his wife didnt really live at home anyway and they had no sex life, seemed they were already separated. It turned emotional bond, a almost daily visit, lots sleepovers, very frequent stops at my house, visits at wotk, tons of calls, msgs, movies, cuddles, dinners etc. Turned requests to remove my birth control so id get pregnant with his child. An exchange of love in March 2018.
By April 2018, Practically begging for child as a birthday gift in April to remove it, and shortly after his birthday doing so. Planning baby, planning everything our furture apart at start of trying, but he wasnt ready to give up and was waiting for her to come back eventually.
There no sex life had a one time hookup. T-Wife n SF having sex July 2018 and her moving the last her stuff out the house basically the next day, and calling cops on him because they faught she was hiding conversations on her phone he took it from her, so she called after he went to work and she had it back. Us changing our plans of not being together to we will wait bit to come out about being together. Lots visits cuddles ilus n talks of together.
September 2018 rolls round and T-Wife wants to talk with SF so they meet up and she tells him shes pregnant from that july hookup with baby #2. He tells me they arnt back together but we cant go public and hurt her while shes pregnant, no rubbing it in her face so we will wait.
October 2018 i learn im pregnant with his 3rd baby. We still going strong planning everything talks of us in future.
April 2019 T-Wife baby born, he stayd by T-Wife side took time off work and was at hospital with T-Baby and T-Wife and family visiting for days.
About a week before my baby is born he takes me on my first offical date with him, no hiding we go out, it was bad. He shows up late because he was playing video games, takes me to **** where he proposed to her (i had stated when discussing this date that it was 100% off limits, but he did it anyway) he talked about his wedding day and about T-Wife and the proposal. We went to movies and then i had go pickup kids and go home. Date was a big warning i should not have ignored.
My Baby decides its his time week later and is born premature over a month and put into NICU cant breath properly etc, SF is in *** outa town work*** working during birth so nothing can be done, after work he goes home to **15min PAST my house** driving past hospital where i and our son are, leaving me an emotional mess at hospital alone with our son in NICU not knowing if hed still be alive in morning. He visits once next day after work to meet baby in his incubator. Ruff start to say least, week later baby gets come home but SF is distant with him. Not big on holding him or showing affection.
By July 2019 SF is moving away to ***9hrs away*** and asking me to move me and kids out there with him but we still arnt officially together so i say no.
Sf visits our town when can to see us all, barely spends any time baby on his first christmas, even though T-Wife doesnt do holidays due to religious crapp he doesnt spend sons first christmas together, he spends it with her and there kids that dont celebrate Christmas.
I plan trip with him to spend time together February 2020, we meet ***city, middle between us** i have hotel suite for us all kids and me and him.
End March 2020 he moves back to ***30min drive from my house*** but moves into his Uncles house. Continues to see me under pretext nothing is happening with T-Wife and we cant be offical because shed take away his rights to see his 2 daughters, he wasnt aloud see T-Baby on her 1st birthday because T-Wife said no but he did spend our baby 1st birthday with him. We get a DNA test to prove hes the father due to him and his family questioning it. Sf is the father just like i said and now have DNA test result proof.
Time goes on we continue seeing eachother sleepovers, movies, dinners etc, hes off work covid and
car accident and has baby visits at his uncles instead of coming to my house so im driving down to *** weekly for his visits, while he drives up weekly to see his daughters.
June 2021 rolls round and SF is mad about fathers day spent with his son and ends it with me even tho we never had an official relationship. By end of month he tells T-Wife all about me or so he said but seems to have left out alot of details for her, we will get to that. He ends it with me even tho we didnt have a real relationship to begin with and says he ended it with her too. He wants a poly relationship because he wants to keep both of us and wants approval. T-Wife and I both flip out on him, shes a hard no on sharing. So hes single but trying to keep us both. (At this point im still very clueless, but fathers day had so much more to it.)
July 2021, I question him about her being pregnant (woman tuition) and he denies it saying he doesnt think she is and has no clue to it, they hooked up in june but no details to anything other then an opps condom situation. He says hes not with anyone says hes going to therapist and still living at Uncles house. Hes visitng with baby and girls when he can.
We are not together but things calmed down and were still sexual together, hes doing sleepovers with me were doing decent not together tho.
October 2021 rolls around and T-Wife shows up at my door demanding to see SF because i was borrowing truck that day so we switched vehicles, he took mine to work leaving me truck. I open door to see a clearly pregnant woman demanding to see her husband, which he told me they wernt together anymore and belived she wasnt pregnant, shes left the kids out of eyesight unattended in her vehicle. Were talking at front door, i end up inviting her in so kids can be watchd and out of the car sitting in the sun. She goes on tell me tons of lies (i fact checked and found fasle dates not matching her words things like he was with her on days he spent with me and stayd the night etc). She confirms shes pregnant with his child and theyd been together in June 2021, and that she told SF on fathers day she had faint lines, but a quick call to SF informing him his pregnant wife is at my house learned she hadnt told him just that she might be. So my hunch was right about baby, and questioned him dropping me due to her baby news. Lie after lie from both sides, with his family verbally attacking me even though SF brought this all on himself with all the lies and secrets, im made be bad guy for being upset and talking to the wife and letting her into my home etc. She told me that he told her i was nothing but a hookup that got knockd up and he regretted me and the baby, that we never ment anything to him, how he ruined her life yada yada. Fast forward to SFs side, he claims to have not known she was pregnant or that it was a son and that i was the one to tell him he was having another child with her, that he didnt know the childs sex anything yet she said he knew everything. He forgave her for visiting me but was pissed i let her in my house and told her the truth about ALOT, said he didnt regret me or baby that he didnt say that, i belived they wernt together she moved out 2018 we were moving forward i thought i had a future with him and was protecting him because she left him off the birth certificates so fighting for parental rights is harder for him legally as theres no proof they were married (no marriage certificate either) or that hes even the father of her kids. I was hurt he picked her after everything all lies he forgave her so easily but i was bad guy for being honest for months, i never wanted lie her and expected the same shed be honest with me but they both lie to me to keep there complicated game going. She tells me i can have him day after visiting me thats end our contact she blocks me and i figure games over, i proved she was full lies me truth, i thought this was it our future was now.
Time goes on he calms down, he doesnt want to pick and works things out with both us, im told to wait, give him chance think etc, unknown how with her. Hes seeing our child, hes seeing girls and hearing small updates about his new baby (her 3rd, his 4th) coming in spring 2022. Hes having sex with both of us again because hes single and shes pregnant so not like much concern for that with her, i get back on birth control because i declared i wasnt having another child with him unless we had a real relationship and was hurt he gave her another child when T-Baby the 2nd wasnt supose to be and now shes with a 3rd child. He doesnt tell her we are still sleeping together hes piling lie ontop lie to her that im just the baby momma nothing more so he can keep getting into her pants. (Shes had me blocked sinse just after we met while she was pregnant with baby number 3 and with her lieing to me not worth really trying to talk sinse they both lie to me)
January 2022 he moves to **roughly 2hr dive away** for work, i have repeatedly tried to offer help threw him to T-Wife as shes juggling 2 kids and her pregnancy which was not easy for her but am told no repeatedly. He asks me again to move tobe near him come to *** we can live together but yet still arnt in a relationship so i say no again. I travel to *** monthly with and without our child to visit SF, he makes few trips up to see kids. Hes sleeping over my house night T-New Baby is born and T-Wife tells him hours after hes born, he visits during day to meet his 2nd son then back to ***. T-Wife goes down once to serve him with papers pertaining to his parental rights to kids. No proof hes father list goes on, they battle back and forth to agree on shit but anyway. I made special trip down weekend before his birthday made big fuss just 2 of us take him out bunch events lots fun to reat him for his birthday. No posting pics as would upset T-Wife, still wants her to let him see kids so she doesnt think im anything.
May 2022 SF moves back on our childs birthday, hes switching jobs and spending time after arriving with our son. Visits girls that weekend. Things going smooth between us, sexual but not together, T-Wife unaware were sexual.
Summer 2022 T-New Baby is in n outa hospital and has a life threatening illness, medicated and surviving. Family drama hits the roof his family fighting him n her emotional messes, me trying be as supportive as possible to him, staying awake while he sleeps incase she calls worried hed miss call worried about there child.
Things go on, hes sexualy playing with T-Wife not intercourse that im aware of and sexual with me, without making a decision to be with either of us so still single, T-Wife wants him alone but isn't aware were already sharing but also wants him homeless living in his truck, not helping him in anyway when she claims love etc, me taking care SF and not wanting share with her because its clear she doesnt love him by everything she does and says. If she wanted him back living together would end me.
Feb 2023, i tell him im fed up his games and he needs figure his shit out. After him sleeping with a 3rd woman outside me and T-Wife and wanting to make it a steady thing with her. I snap im fed up. He goes back just me and T-Wife with agreement to be 100% honest with me. He wants me and kids to move to **30min away to another town so hes closer work n me n her wont live in same town*** so talks of us moving to ** together to live all together but yet again im reluctant because we arnt a couple no real relationship but i tell him get his papers in order file his taxes etc and we can look for places. He stops saying ilu, stops our frequent sleeping together (sharing bed cuddled asleep, sex keeps going), stops the hello and goodbye kisses when we see eachother.
October 2023, he comes clean about playing with T-Wife after making me think it stoped in June 2023. I question his honesty again as hes not being 100% with me, lies again. He apologies and says he will be honest with me. Id rather know truth then lies least show some respect for me even if he needs more outside our sex life. A trip away together with kids, another reminder not to post doesnt want T-Wife to know.
March 2024, T-Wife has a pregnancy scare freaking out, SF drops the bomb on me but i didnt know theyd been have sex, i thought there sexual play didnt involve intercourse and that it had stoped again in December 2023, sinse shes always freaking out about me in his life even though he tells her we not sexual when we have been for 6 years straight, shes not on birth control and he never told me they were back at it. Yet id warned him i was fed up a year ago, n id warned i wont stay threw another child. So i tell him if she is hes gone and im done, hes upset, looks upset at idea of losing me acting sad upset, pissed at her, hates idea of more babies with her, rants on n on about hating idea of having anymore children with her because she ruined his dreams of fatherhood. Meanwhile im breaking because lie after lie after lie not being honest with me, wouldnt let him touch me and didnt want him near me, repulsed and disgusted, he just keeps lieing to me, giving her babies when he told me her 1st would be only one. He had been oraly sexual with me after her without my informed knowledge again, ive previously stated NO oral after being another woman yet multiple after being her while we wernt having sex 2 week dry spell, my needs wernt being met, i was under false pretense he had been in to much pain to have sex yet achieved that with T-Wife. He goes on ranting claims hes done her, 100% never again, hes sorry for keeping secrets and lieing etc, doesnt want to lose me, apologizes for way he treats me (im sure you all know the lines men get into trouble so tries sweet talking to not lose everything). Well....
He wakes up next day we end up having meh sex he enjoys it more then me, im thinking this is it this is the sex ill remember going forward it marks the end most likely but maybe sliver of hope the beginning pending what happens in next few days.
Well then he gets text that she got her period and bam its like it never happened the two are acting like nothing while im torn apart by this stupidity game they play. I try and talk about it and get yelled at. Now they act like it never happened and ive told him to decide and every conversation about it my hurt feelings mean nothing and i get yelled at. I inform him im living one day at a time and fed up, that if hes sexual her again and goes back his words that night then our sexual time is done and he knows it ive said it, he will have made his choice of which woman he wants. Told him its one day at a time right now. He told me hed be nicer me whole 9 yards, line after line. Sure seems he wants keep playing us, lieing us, doing who knows what sexualy and risking babies that im not aloud to be apart of, that our son isnt aloud to meet, shes set bar hard no he doesnt excit because all she does is cause pain, uses him like a tool, treats him like shit and he comes running back me hurting and i patch him up and repeat this painful cycle i want out of. Especially sinse she doesnt know im part this poly none poly BS SF has created by feeding us both lies.
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All he seems todo is pathologically lie to everyone to have both of us his way.
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Ive repeatedly told him for years if she wasnt in picture we could have a real relationship and i dont see any problems between us besides her. She wants him change many aspects of himself, give up part his personality, his hobbies, his friends, and cut ties our child she hates, yet i pushed for him spend time his kids make routine, paid gas years ago so he could go see his kids, pushed him to be a better father, pitch in more, helped buy there gifts, pick them on occasion, order them etc, helped anyway possible, pushed him todo visits even when he just wanted to have day to himself dont disappoint them, offered help T-Wife during pregnancies because i know its alot taking care kids and making a baby especially while he lived in ***, ive been by his side supporting him cheering him on pushing him to be the man i know is in there but hurting, the father he wants be yet gets told no visits on his days because she makes plans to go see friends and family instead when she has 6 other days to do what she wants. We get along things are smooth outside her involvement so ive always seen it as he just needs time see how they dont click but year after year passes and hes blind to pain she causes him, he accepts her chipping away at him, so he refuses to give her up, so in turn hes losing me instead and can find new path with her.
So anyway ive taken time to write this April 2024 this to inform T-Wife the man she keeps and the man im getting rid of, im done, no more lies to keep me. I have far more details, dates journal entries time stamps text messages call history photos list goes on the details i have of the 6 years. The lies that i was special but clearly this is a case of made me his mistress and lead me on with fasle promises of a future for years. And once he came clean he asked me to wait to give him time so i stayd under agreed conditions that were not met, i stayed when i was told he doesnt really want either us near end because i figured he was just hurting but im fed up and should seen it long ago and trusted my gut, ive been 2nd place to her this whole time even when he said i wasnt he always made me feel like runner up, there never was a future, he can say he didnt play me but everything says otherwise he played me good, i dont feel respected, loved, appreciated, i feel used and dirty like the hoe his wife calls me, your right T ive been his hoe far to long, blinded by love for a false man, a fraud, a fake, the devil himself. Ive been taking care the needs you refused to meet physically, emotinally and sexualy while he refused to let you go.
T-Wife your just as crazy as him in alot ways, i see your BS clear as day also, goodluck with whatever you decide, trust actions not his words. Your both toxic to eachother and someday you with both realize it to late.
Other woman be warned this man will love bomb you at first, gaslight the hell out of you and has narsasisit traits like you wont believe. Unless you have real proof they are over, your just the next hookup/Mistress.
☆The Ex-Mistress aka "Sons Baby Momma"
BTW Im editing out the names but im sure you can figure it out, just providing some cold hard truth. Also men if any you read this dont think im easy, i love sex but im fed up of BS, i want to make sure the fall out im expecting is provided with both sides and that T-Wife knows the real truth not his lies, if ive forgetten anything im sure i have data to verify between everything i have, and also so that im heard to when shit hits fan i always feel like bad guy way he runs his mouth neglecting to tell full truth, so for the bad and the good. I have tons of proof of both the lovey and the rage monster he has been with me. Every past situation thats caused a fall out between us has only lasted days but has left irreplaceable damage each time, his family verbally attacking me with messages and calls, sitting outside my house like stalkers, threating me with SS because theyre mad at me, having my private conversations read and aired between them, resulting in me screenshotting what i saw for proof to him so im not cut out of it. SF threatening to abandon our son if i tell the full truth, or basicly step outa line. Comparing me other woman, using her agaisnt me claiming i dont care about him im just like her etc yet i stuck round threw so much pain, i gave up my time my money my heart and opened my life for him, i do everything he wants and then some, i fixed the truck tires, i was one changing truck tire so he could go do his christmas visit other year, i was on ground, i got the tow truck come help me when i couldnt lift truck higher, i run all the errands, all the cooking cleaning taking care his every need (outside some sexual with you, im a BJ queen not a HJ queen thats for middle schoolers, men can touch themselfs so not much offer in my opinion not s talet i cared to learn about), giving him money when he was to broke for varies reasons some included playing her bills after they no longer living together (so your welcome you had a working phone, hydro paid etc T, i was supporting him and paying for your shit taking care of you inturn too). So im airing the dirty laundry with some proof attached that even though ive gone public and im no good guy im not all bad, im not lieing, cold hard truth with evidence.
This all leaves me feeling almost like a manic person must from all the trauma ive been threw by his side but i would like to be heard and seen to not just gossiped about as a one sided thing.
I want T to know truth that the deal in the very beginning in December 2017 was if you came back to him i was out, but you only came back to leave, i didnt think hed lie to me again and again to keep his secret double lives, i never wanted to be apart a mess like this but i kept being promised you were out, i thought was just cause the bond you being kids mom not that he loved you, i saw you as a hookup nothing special, ya know like when a guy gets drunk sleeps woman not his partner it hurts all same but i thought you ment nothing just a lay but i was one that wasnt special. Im sorry i didnt walk away in 2018 or any time after, im sorry its taken me this long to see him for what he is. Your no saint but i never fit, it was always you, he just needed more you wernt providing and instead you two working it out he used me.
If post i have proof of
• Baby begging
• Future (false) promises
• Apologies
• Rage fits
• Silent treatment
• Lies
• Proof of secretive for T-Wife
• Verbal Family Attacks
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