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Freak fvckin' stress. I'm feeling conscious of even cussing but.... Freak.
Why is it when you're just trying to roll with the flow, go with the flow in life... I feel like my life starts crumbling bits by bits. Especially when I am trying to mentally tryna be independent from my family, relatives and I see changes in where I'm standing rn in life. I'm living comfortably and now that I'm dissing my relatives for being offensive towards me... I feel like the universe is getting back at me for them somehow... How come it's like that? I would like to see my blindspots in life but of course they won't be called figuratively blindspots if it's possible to be seen... Though, I hope there were 'sensors' that would let me know they'll be coming to me like my car... But freak fvck.!
I am just tired living behind my ever offensive childish Tita already I mean I know she's nice she's playful towards her nieces and nephews but she has that dark twisted side alsso that's hidden under her facade of being... idk 'nice?' But yeah...
I just want to have my own life. To have my own family and have that boundaries from them because we're not kids anymore and I can't keep telling her my secrets and stuff. Because every time I'd be kissing her a**, good things happen ostly happen to me but... I'm partially happy. Like wtf, I know because she's family and all but I just know that she's one of the roots why this is my life. Puta lang,
That's what I feel. I don't know what emotion can be associated with that. Frustrations? Irritation? Longing? Idk.
Because right now I'm struggling financially and i'm doing overdraft again on my chequings account... Fuck. I think I really need to distance myself from here. Move to a different province than here.. ππΊπ§³π
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