Sshhh

looking back now I envy being a teenager. Yes it was awkward as hell I didn't fit in anywhere. I always thought it was the worst years of my life. I always feel different especially at home and home is where I seen the most peace, being extremely overweight and constantly picked on by the others who are my age I look forward to leaving one hell and going to another hell where I know that bedroom door closed I can escape my reality and become whomever I wanted. I could be that cheerleader or that model with the perfect body. Acting was something that I was was so good at smile on cue don't talk about your problems stop feeling sorry for yourself or just some of what I would hear from my oh so loving mother or my two-faced backstabbing sister. They would push me and push me but I'd break, my only release of the tip of a knife on my upper arms. I thought it was so strange how if I fell and scraped my knee or accidentally cut a finger while chopping vegetables it hurt but even though I seen it cut I didn't feel a thing for an emotional release almost euphoria.