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it's been a week and she's non stop crying. She keeps saying she doesn't know why, but how can someone cry over nothing, and when I told her this she said "maybe it's because I kept everything to myself and finally exploded" and I said "babe please lets talk what's wrong" and she said "you didn't do anything wrong, idk, ig I just hate everything in the world and I can't fucking do this anymore" and I said "explain" and she said "I cant, I just can't, idk what's wrong with me..." and then she started crying so hard and even just screaming and she wakes up to nightmares of her sh or she commits sui- and I told her "please talk to me, are you depressed, talk to me baby" and she said "idk" and idk what to do. It's making me hurt watching her not knowing what's wrong with her, I told her I'd get her a therapist and she refused and cried not to and then I asked her if we can talk to her parents about this or just someone and she went stone cold and said "no, I'm fine" and I said "no you're not, your-" she cut me off and screamed "IM FINE" and then she went to the bathroom and started yelling and crying "I'm sorry i'm sorry I'm sorry, I just wanna die, idk what's wrong with me, I hate me" and I broke the door open and I screamed at her to stop and she looked at me and said "you deserve better, I'm ugly" and I said "what?? did you cheat?" and she said "wow you think I'd do that." and I said "why are you saying this then" and she said "because LOOK AT ME. I'M A FREAK, I'M DONE WITH THIS LIFE. I WANNA DIE...why would you want me, look at me. ugly and dead" and I just watch her break, and she looks at me and says "please, don't leave me" and I said "I wont" and she said "i'm sorry" and starts crying and I told her it was okay but its been getting worse, she wakes up sweating and crying, her nightmares are getting worse, and she refused to get checked out, and then she sleeps throughout the morning but that still doesn't stop her nightmares and then this morning she lied down on me and was gonna gts and said "is this a sign I'll die soon?" and I said "babe no shut up" and she kissed me and said "I wish it was so I wouldn't have to deal with this any longer" and I shook my head and told her to sleep and I think this was the only time she didn't get nightmares because she woke up a little smiley, and kissed me and acted like things were fine but then again she slept but alone and I watched her wake up screaming. and shes looking at me and saying "I'm sorry" but then I slept with her, and I woke up to her kissing my cheeks and she said "sorry to wake you up" and I said "no it was cute" and she said "everytime I sleep with you I'm fine but alone it's like idk, some hellhole" but before when I did sleep with her she still got those nightmares so idk whats happening?? Anyone help?
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You're doing pretty much everything you're supposed to. She's got some serious mental stuff going on. Unfortunately, it's not your burden to carry. She's obviously uncomfortable with her mental state but if she doesn't accept professional help, there's not much you can do other than be supportive, which you are. This might drain you after awhile though. Mental illness is serious stuff and unfortunately, can't be fixed without professional intervention. Prepare for a long journey if you choose to stay.
ReplyHey I’ve seen this from both sides, dated people like this and been one myself. What she needs is stability. Her thoughts and emotions are all over the place so she needs something solid to cling to. That could be you, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be anything that’s important to her. But in this case let’s say it’s you.
When she goes into a crisis like that, I think the #1 thing to do is let her know you’re on her team. This means paying attention to everything she says and taking it seriously. If she says she’s afraid of monsters under the bed, dont just brush it off but say ‘Ok lets sleep on the couch tonight’ or whatever.
The point is, don’t make her feel like she’s crazy because she feels crazy enough. If you can somehow normalize crazy, then youve hit gold.
Lets take a real example. Say she freaks out thinking you’ll leave her cuz she’s ugly. Don’t just say ‘thats ridiculous’ but actually tell her what’s beautiful about her. Her eyes, her mouth, whatever, just make it clear that you think she’s the most gorgeous thing on the planet. Remember you’re the only thing separating her from crazy so you gotta reel her back in carefully and show her that she can count on you for stability. Good luck man, its a tough job but it can be done
ReplyIt would be interesting to know what the nightmares are about. If there is anything evil about them she may have a demon annoying her and giving her the ideas of suiciding.
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