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If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I lost my dad three years ago and I'm still struggling mentally and financially. It's something I can't bring myself to describe. I'm having suicidal thoughts often, but I live for my mom. There's a lot going on, mind is restless, heart is in pieces, sleepless nights and silent battles. But I'm not here today to complain. I'm grateful for the little things in my life. Got amazing few people who greets me good morning via texts every single morning, I have a best friend whom I can rant about things, she's there to listen without judgement, super strong mom who's there to lift me up and cheer me up, have a partner who loves me a lot, though it's a rental house I'm living under a roof safely and many more. I often forget these when my thoughts dive deep into chaos. I don't know about God; I lost my faith long back, but I do have pure hearted people around me; few but still counts. I wish to look after them well, provide them with utmost happiness. The process is slow I know but I will one day. I often don't write when I have this mindset, but I wanted to write today so I can look back at these notes when I actually achieve in life. And I whole heartedly wish everyone who's dealing with their silent battles win in their lives and be happy. Sending lots of love from a girl who's still fighting. We got this!!!
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Do a Bible study with someone who knows the Bible and you will get to know God and have a relationship with Him. Then when He sees the effort you have gone to He will help you. Go to a local church and ask the pastor to recommend someone to do the Bible study with you. Best wishes.
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