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I do not know what to do, how to express myself on this topic but I need advice...
1 week ago · 0 · Unrequited Love, +5 · Explicit
64
My life is in shamble right now, I am 27 years old unemployed, loner, never had friends, connections and I do not have something significant or important going on in my life. I do not have money, I do not have hobbies or passions. I half-dead with no life, or personality.
I wa lonely all my life, I cam from poor family and my life was very sorrow. I was diagnosed since infancy with bipolar disorder. My mother and father did not love eachother. My mother despised him with all her wits. She never loved us, out father never dated before, never loved my mother, he at 38 years old just asked my mother to marry him and that was all. Neither of them had sweet and romantic love experiences or stories. Love was absent from our family and I my question in life was what was the fucking love, how it feels to be touched, hugged, loved, cared, wanted. I never experienced neither of that feeling.
I was broke, underachiever, depressed, anxious, ugly, ethnic, fat, bullied and no particular girl showed interest in me as a person. I never dated before, never kissed no one before, never been intimate with someone. I tried Tinder and other dating apps, in my desperation. For all my life, the feeling of closure, connections, love, was something that never natural for me. Being loved by someone never occcured to me, I had crushes on girls before but it was most unrequited.
I find my first girl who wanted to meet me but, I didnt managed to show her that I love her, I never had courage to ask her out to eat something. I never eat in restaurant before. I was too embarassed that I never had any connections with someone and I just don t know how to be social, to eat out, to date and everything like that. I don t know nothing about romantism, I just know that I love her with all my soul. But....we met just once and she never wanted to date me ever again. She told me that was not a date and it was nothing romantic between us. Just I am too afraid to kiss someone because I never felt to kiss someone or someone to want to kiss me. All my life I live being unwanted and I just don t want to buy or to sell ,my self in order to convince someone to love with expensive dates, expensive restaurants, I just want a person to be happy to be in her life...
I don t know, if there is a girl who would give a chance to 27 virgin with no experience, and no experience with any human connections...
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