My first crush was...

AMK ( Couldn't expose his name like that u know ) I met him in my Sunday's school. He was my very first male friend which I got to talk and study with. He was so playful, funny kid when were in our primary grades. When we had to write our Sunday's school exam he couldn't write a thing on his paper so he always ended up coping my one & I always helped him to write it saying all the answers to him. We were very good friends. We used to eat lunch together & sometimes I would feed him too. When he chokes I would rush to him worriedly & give my water bottle to him. Both of us were so immature that we failed to understand that we liked each other. Then when I was in gr.8 the feelings started kick back. I was crushing over him hugely. I used to wear this week his shirt color, next week to the church mass. I was loving him rather than crushing over him. After two years when we finished our Sundays school we had classes for Holy confirmation and One day he came to me and asked me if I liked him. I was over the moon & I almost said yes but my parents, my education, fear of having an affair made me say NO to him. He was my crush for more than 2 yrs and I myself ended up saying No. Then he never talked to me again. My friend told me he is angry with me for saying No. Then one day we had a little exam to check whether we are prepared for the holy confirmation and as I was writing my paper someone whisper asked me answers for the 5th question & It was none other than him. I just couldn't refuse myself from helping him & Yes I ended up helping him to write it. Then we had a little chat & I apologized him for saying No just like that straight to his face. I made him understand that at that moment I needed to focus on my studies & He understood me so well saying it's fine. He truly said I was his first girl to ask out & I felt bad rejecting him like that.

Now He does have a girlfriend & I am not angry at him nor mad at him. It's his life & he has the right to choose.

Do you guys know why I used to believe him ?

Cause I met him in the church & that's were lord lives. So I believe god made me meet him & He was so understanding. When I told him I want to focus on my studies, He never threatened nor blamed me saying I rejected him. After few months I wrote my ordinary levels and I got Best results & I am thankful to him cause If i had any kind of affair I am sure I might not be able to get that best results cause I will be loving him like a mad girl putting my education & Family behind. So I am forever thankful for him.

But Still when ever i see him

That butterflies in my head starts to roam around making me crush on him forever

Yeah I regret not being her girlfriend but He will always be my crush