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This year, I graduate. I’ve already decided on a university and a major. The thing is this university is three hours away and I’m not used to being away from home like this. I have anxiety, it used to be so crippling to where I could hardly even go to school, but now it is a lot better. I still worry though that I’ll have a really hard time with it.
I don’t have a roommate either, which is another thing I worry about. All of my friends either already have a roommate or aren’t coming to my school. I’m worried that if I get someone random, I might hate them or I won’t be able to get adjusted to living with them. I feel like I am too particular in what I want.
another part of me is super excited. I’m excited to be on my own seeing as my parents are extremely strict. I’m just worried that it will cause more problems with me being away and they will be even more of the helicopter parents they already present themselves to be. I’m also excited to go out with my friends and see all the new churches I can attend there. I also just feel like I have outgrown my school and I’m ready for a fresh start. I also love my schedule for first semester, so that’s also something I’m very excited about.
Anyway, I’m just looking for advice from people who’ve already gone through this and can help. What should I expect my first year? What’s the hardest part? Have you had the same issues as I have? Any general advice is also greatly appreciated and thank you in advance to anyone who leaves a comment.
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I went from being close to my parents and home all the time to living 500-miles and an 8-hour drive away from them in my first year at uni. It was a difficult transition. I also had a very controlling roommate, which made it a difficult semester (I moved out second semester because living with her was affecting my mental health). However, I also met my very best friend in the first semester in school and had some really fun times. As to what to expect, there's not really much I can say. Everyone gets a mixed bag, and depending on your background different aspects will leave different impressions on you.
I think the hardest part for me was living close quarters with someone who gave me no space. Most roomates will leave the room for some amount of time on the weekdays and weekends to hang out with friends and go to classes. But my first year was in the height of covid. So while I still had many in-person labs and classes, my roommate stayed home all the time. She didn't try to give me space either. She would watch me sleep and report to me if I moved around a lot or made any noises. She made it a point to share the same shower and eating schedule. So I couldn't even get a break from her when I went to grab a bite at the cafeteria. But for the most part, this is NOT most people's experience.
The 2nd hardest thing, and probably more realistically what you'll face, was just academics in general. I was a first gen college student. Always had good grades in high school, but didn't do any AP classes or anything like that. I wasn't sure what to expect in college. It was a difficult adjustment. Go to classes, take notes, and visit during office hours if you need more help. Managing coursework gets easier with practice, so don't feel discouraged.
It sounds like you already have some friends going to college with you. That's great! It's always good to make friends too! Best time to do that is orientation week. All freshmen will be excited to meet new people and open to making new friends. After this opening, it's sooo much harder to make friends. So really take advantage of that first week.
If you start to get homesick, best thing to do is keep busy. With homework, friends, or a job. Calling home can also help. I talk with my parents everyday on the phone because we're super close. You might not want or need to call as much as that. But a good long call can sometimes help if you are feeling down or missing family. Being only 3-hours away could actually be a plus. You can go home for weekends once in a while and see you family and pets (if you have any).
Overall though, there is no way to anticipate how your first year will go. It will probably be difficult in one way or another, but it could also be fun at the same time. Do your best to make friends and enjoy it! I hope atleast something I said was helpful, and I hope I didn't scare you too mich with my roommate story. Most roommates won't be like that. And you will likely have to put together a contract agreement with them about specific things. You'll also have an RA to help you navigate difficult conversations and compromising if need be.
Anyway, again: I hope this helped. You'll do great. :)
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