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The story is what I saw in a dream.
I was attracted to a girl in my college, in my class. She is really beautiful, but what matters more is that she is a very calm and decent person. But I was very shy in expressing my feelings in front of her. Sometimes when she walked past me, I tried to turn or hide my face so that she wouldn't notice anything from my eyes.
But the shyness was only limited to physical meetings. Somehow I'd started chatting with her through WhatsApp. There the environment was very private and quiet, allowing me to slowly be more and more expressive. I did talk to her about academics and college notifications. Sometimes we also had some funny chats, but there also I tried to be decent enough not to forget who I was in real life.
The story is here.
It was maybe the last day of college, I don't exactly remember. That day I had decided that whatever happens, I will meet her with confidence. After attending the first two lectures, we both got a free period. Oh, I forgot to mention that we were in different sections. So I couldn't meet her in classroom. I had to wait for a common free period or the recess break or till the classes are all over. And that time also got wasted by some clingy unwanted classmates who stick like glue and don't understand something known as privacy.
Returning back to the story, that day as soon as the free period started, I went to drink some water with a friend. AND, she was also going there ahead of me. I suddenly stopped and turned around as always, because I was very hesitant of physical meeting with her. I started walking slowly away from her, but she was walking towards me at a normal pace. Actually we all were going towards the classrooms as we stood there in the corridors in the free time. Then I stopped somewhere in between the way and waited for her to come closer to me, so I may get a chance to initiate a talk. Each step of her towards me was making my heartbeat faster and more irregular.
When she reached to me, my mind was racing whether to take such bold step or not. Within a few seconds of time, my mind did swing 10-20 times between 'Yes' and 'No'.
After the sharp battle, the 'Yes' won. Its a win for me. I was happy that I'm going to talk with her and alleviate my mood for the day or maybe for many days, just by a single meeting.
Then she stood near me and made eye-contact. I was too nervous from inside, but firm on my decision to not be crazy coward today. Then it happened... she casually said "Hi". I was melting but tried not to express my emotions.
BUT,
Then came the turning point of my story. He was our classmate. By character, he was a bumble-bee who roamed around all kinds of flowers. Me and my friends literally called him a flying bumble-bee. He tried to never miss any girl he see or whoever is passing nearby him. He was actually kind of a simp.
Now the present - as soon as she said "Hi" to me, the bumble-bee appeared out of nowhere and started to talk with her. She didn't feel any discomfort talking with him, so she continued with him.
Meanwhile, I tried to say something like we were talking first, he came later, or something just like that. But the problem is that the words departed from my mind, but didn't reach the tongue. But I didn't just give up... I did a gestured my hand in such a way as to say, "What about talking with me ?"
She replied, "Just excuse me for a few minutes, I'll be back in a moment."
That was the turning point.
After that, they both left that place while continuing to talk about all kinds of irrelevant topics. And, I was there just watching her go away.
Each step of her seemed like a 100 miles away from me. I remained there only, waiting for her. But only God knew that I had lost her forever. She never came back.
But my crazy mind kept false hopes of her returning back. It has been ages now, and she has still not come.
I was filled with tears from inside, but didn't let a single drop to shed; because what would she think of me if she saw tears in my eyes ?!
I suppressed my emotions and waited for her. Ages have gone and still she haven't come. Even death approached me twice during the wait, but she was long gone from my universe forever.
Yet I'd wait for her until the sun stops rising one day.
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I'm the writer of this story. The thing is - That was all a dream. But its true that I'm attracted to a girl in my class, and I'm really shy and hesitant to even reply back t her "Hi".
Any help would be highly appreciated.
ReplyIt seems to me that the only reason you kids go to school is to get a girlfriend and for the girls to get a crush or a boyfriend. I am an older woman and if I want a toy boy I suppose I should go to the local high school. We say toy boy here in Australia not boy toy and we have hot flushes not hot flashes.
Reply