How I have changed in the past 5 years

In fact yes. Five years ago I was just seeing just how cruel the world is. I’d always known but I was seeing it first hand. I was finding proof to confirm who my real father was. I was transitioning from a happy little girl to some sort of angry teen. 4 years ago my heart grew darker and angry. My mind was cynical and pessimistic. Three years ago I wanted to watch the world burn, I wanted everyone who had ever hurt me to see this person they helped create cause the end of the world. I wanted to watch this horrible place rot because no benevolent God would let it come to this. I lost my faith and my belief, I lost all light and watched those who believed with envious and enraged eyes. My soul fell out of alignment, my heart and mind lost every shred of light simply because I turned away from it. I believed that God had truly left this forsaken place. I saw the hate and anger in the world. Then two years had passed in this terrifying and dangerous state of mind. I started dating someone who just wanted sex. I allowed so much more happen than I should’ve and some people will never look at me the same. I never let him have completely what he wanted because that’s when I began praying again. That’s one thing a piece of me will always love him for is that he led me back to my faith. I’m sad he lost his but I’m so happy that I got mine back. Because one year ago I saw the world. The hate and the love. Yes mankind is evil, but not all of us are so bad. There’s good hidden in some of the darkest places. And now? Now I have become the beacon of light my old eyes would scowl upon and hate. I’m finally happy, but instead of being like those who tried to “help” me by telling me how to fix it, I’m helping people by simply being there. I’ve become the very person I needed, and now I see myself in the mirror and don’t entirely hate who I’m working to be. Those little shreds of distaste that have stayed I’ve learned to love, because that’s younger me, she’s still hurting, she needs a hug and someone to tell her it’s ok. So every day I’ve learned to love myself and those in pain. I’m five years I’ve gone from being a little seedling, a little dandelion puff, to becoming a dying little thing, like my puff rotting away allowing the seed to be planted, now I’m a growing field of dandelions. I’m plucked from the ground, I’m “weeded out” I’m rolled in and loved. I live anywhere I want to. Because I am a dandelion, with my love I provide a new perspective of hope, with my happiness I’m allowed to give wishes, and with my perseverance I will always come back, you just have to look for me. I’m in the cracks of the concrete and in the forest, I’m in your backyard and in the fields, never planted on purpose, but always there.

A note to anyone who’s reading this:

I love you. You’re doing good, I’m proud of you. I’m here for you, just look and listen. You’re strong, smart, beautiful, and unique. You’re not alone, no matter how dark and alone you feel, you simply need to turn the lights on to see all of the people there for you. Until you can I will sit with you in the darkness and look for stars with you. Together we will make new wishes and hope for a better place. It doesn’t matter your ethnicity, age, religion, beliefs, or what you’ve done in the past. I’m still here for you. And there are so many other people here for you, we just need a little exploration to find them.