The Tightness that won’t go away

Found out that the doctors don’t expect my husband to live. We found out in March that he has blood cancer and things went from bad to horrible at warp speed.

I try and get him to eat, while I can barely swallow my own food. The tightness in my chest won’t go away. I feel like I’m on the edge of a heart attack.

I try to be strong, I try not to cry. But I find myself crying all the time. Rather than focusing on what I have right in front of me, I find my thoughts drifting to what my life is going to look like with out him. My best friend and lover. I don’t want to continue on without him. But know I must for our four children.

It hurts so much, I wish I could tear my heart out of my chest and never feel again!