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i was so afraid of writing [ i still am, i keep writing and erasing stuff ] i used to think that if i wrote the things i feel it will make me more emotional, like making me come face to face with things happening inside my brain, if i will read the things i have written again and again it will be more intense for me to handle, but sometimes i used to feel so alone, i wanted someone who could feel what i was feeling. i was afraid of sharing my problem with people, burdening them. but from few weeks i just cannot handle this nonsense my brain is thinking, i wanted to write everything and remove the emotions inside me. i started writing but didn't post online, but the problem was i was not finding the satisfaction, i wanted someone to read it and understand the things i'm feeling, for them to understand what is happening inside my mind, that i was going mad [ still ig] i wrote this poem [ cannot call it poem i know ] in that phase .
I wish to write the way I feel
words to bleed on paper the way my soul does
stories suffocating to be listened yet afraid to show
hoping someone will hold the book, take away pages of anguish and despair
still afraid of being teared-apart while getting repaired
this feeling to be read without getting recognized
to be felt without being touched
to be understood without being explained
to be heard without being listened
afraid i'll say so many things that I will forget to speak,
the thought's I think will make the paper weep
desire to makes the reciters eyes go blur
why pain make me feel alive a never ending pleasure
fear of getting expose that no ink will cover me
my pages will be left blank, no coming stories to fulfill me
- j
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Replywhat?
Replywriting helps. where do you go in real life to talk to people?
Replymostly to my brother or friends , usually i don't till it becomes suffocating [ which is very rare ] , but when i do share it i fell vulnerable and more depressed
Replydon't they support you? or do you still feel that way anyway?
Replythey do and they are kind of very over caring sometimes it becomes unbearable to handle their emotion and care. i feel very awkward, like i'm being childish and going to them with my problem.
ReplyHow old are u Jahan
Reply23
ReplyOk
Replyah I get it. I feel the same way sometimes. But you would know that if the really care then they wouldn't mind it.
Replyhow does this novni guest feature works, i cannot comment on people's post, i just started using this 1 hour ago, and you calling me jahan is freaking me out
Replyand why can't i see you name
Replywe're not using accounts. you are. I dunno about the can't comment thing. Some posts have comments disabled but you should be fine for the others.
Replyo i got it sorry, i didn't scroll till the end
Replyyeah now i got it
Reply