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U know that saying “like a moth to a flame”? Well I’m the moth and both my ex and pain are the flames.. ig u could say they are damn near the same. U ever have a strong need or want for something and u feel like u might actually lose ur mind if u don’t get it? That’s how it always is with him. We been on and off for the past 5 years but I can’t leave him alone. No matter how hard I try I always end up back. No matter what he does he’s still the only one I want. I miss what we used to be.. before all the mental hospitals, and all the moving, and all the other girls, and all the lying and cheating. Before that we were perfect, maybe but perfect perfect but perfect enough for me. I do dumb things, things that Ik will result in me hurt and crying myself to sleep. I’m not mentally sane with him but I’m a whole different type of mentally insane without him it’s like a pick ur struggle type of thing. It’s just a “pick which way u will like to lose ur mind- with or without him”. I try to convince myself that we will work out this time but in reality I know that ultimately I will end up in a lot of pain crying and he will be fine but I still choose him. I know that he will draw me back in. Sometimes I think to myself “do I just like and enjoy the pain or what” bc whyyyy do I keep coming back.. I think I need therapy this obsession over him and the thought of us is driving me insane. We are supposed to be trying again right now and all I can do is pray and hope that we work out
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That is exactly how I feel. Wow. Me and my boyfriend has been 7 1/2 years now and we've always had our breakups. And during those, it's always like it seems for the better but I'm literally going insane, it still feels better with him even if it all ends up in pain. I really wish we could just go back to how we started, the innocence and genuineness of everything.
ReplyYou should both see a relationship counselor to get all of this straightened out.
ReplyUPDATE: he has not been responding to my texts for the last 3 days… but he’s been active on social media. He’s just been plain and simple ignoring me. Nothing new tbh
Reply