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Hi peeps,
So I'm a girl in my mid twenties who've never been in a relationship before. Now there's this guy at work who kinda showed interest in me and I also kinda like him, we talk almost everyday and he's a smart guy. He said he likes me and would like to go forward but I'm not totally sure.
The fact is I'm in my mid twenties and I feel like I should just try to date someone instead of having these unrealistic expectations for a guy. Honestly this is the first person I'm thinking that let's just try dating. But I feel like I should not rush it maybe?
We're both working remotely from our homes so we don't meet. I met him few months before on a office trip and we kinda clicked. Later we started talking and developed feelings for each other. I've known him for about 6 months now.
Now the thing is there are few things of his which makes me question this - he's a nice guy but he's kinda jealous of my guy friends. Like I can go out to a friends place to have a drink and he's fine with that but I recently went on a trip with few of my friends and he said he's jealous that they were there and he was not. I'm not sure if this is a red flag or not.
As I said I've never dated before so I am not aware of these and I'm a very free spirited person so I don't like control. Also he's nice and talks to me but he takes time to text back and sometimes disappear mid conversation which makes me anxious. If i call him he always picks or calls back telling me he was doing something or the other but sometimes it makes me anxious. He says he wants me but if I'm not on his mind all the time does he actually want me? Like I get it, he could be busy but his slow responses makes me feel u wanted. Also sometimes he replies dry and that makes me anxious too. Maybe I overthink too much.
We have very different choices and things that we like, there are few similarities but majorly differences. He's too much into sports while I'm not really... Also he's pretty smart, academic all as well as outgoing while I'm not so much. He likes to joke around so sometimes I don't get if he's joking or being serious.
He also continuously says that he's grateful to have me in his life but I don't know. Also he continuously asks for my pictures, I know we don't see each other as we live far away but why always ask for current pictures. I'm not a picture person so most of the time I deny and sometimes i send. Also i feel like he's expecting something physical when we meet and I'm not sure I'm fully ready. Also je sometimes sends me dresses and says I should buy something like that, I'm a tshirt girly and even though I wear dresses I feel it's controlling if he says I should buy something or other. I mean.
I don't know if I got issues or what is it but I can sincerely use some help. I have never been in a relationship so i would like to know what it's like to be in one and what are normal and what are not. Please please please help a fellow girl out.
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Just keep him as a friend. He’s already showing controlling tendencies, it would only get much worse if you became intimate.
ReplyCertainly don't get with him if your birthdays are May and December as they are the most incompatible pair in the zodiac. He is already trying to control what you wear. He is trying to change you to suit himself and if you get with him he might try to change you altogether.
Here is the rhyme about May and December: The honeymoon never works out when May is married to December as the poor young thing doesn't know how and the old goat can't remember.
ReplyHi, I don't know whether you will find this helpful or not but I guess you should talk about everything freely with him whether you are feeling controlled or not and observe his reaction, if he gets too defensive and start saying something like "I like you that why I am doing this/saying this/ ......... I am a guy and I know how other boys feel about you and so on " which you find offensive then surely he is not your type , even if you guys commit, then I guess it's gonna be a toxic relationship as there will be communication gap and lots of misunderstandings.
On other hand you should try to understand his thoughts too while talking about how you feel and try to be free while communicating about what you want , what you don't want and what are the things where you can compromise.
After talking everything out if you still find that guy attractive then go for it.
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