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Don't be so kind to me.
Hi there Jeny, i just want to say don't be so kind to me. Lately i've been struggling so much that i don't know how am i going to face the next day. At this point i'm just eagerly trying to survive. I feel so bad and fragile that any moment i could collapse or i could faint and i'm not even sure if it's just anxiety or something else. And you're so kind to me. I would say close as well. Very caring. To be honest, i really liked you a year ago primarily because of your looks. I can't deny it i was so attracted to you. I felt like i'd break my neck all the time because i keep on looking at you during class hours. You're the first person so my prayed before my Almighty, asking the heavens to change my mind stop my attraction with you because it's distracting. And i don't want your studies or mine to be compromised. I know you'll never find this letter and i hope you don't.
Anyways, a year later, i would say that we have gotten closer. And coincidentally, it is a year where i am so vulnerable. From my recent heart diagnosis i felt like it would be the end of me. Mind you i was never afraid of death. But i wanted at least to finish what i need to do before i leave this planet. I felt restless, even now as i speak. That's why please don't be so close to me. Cause i would fall in love and you would never know and i would hurt myself in the process or even worse i might hurt you as well emotionally.
I know that we were too different, but i can't explain the calm that you give me. To be honest, i could see myself building a future with you. But then again that's on me, it is highly likely that you think of something else, that you want someone else, and I respect that. Because they say that when you love someone, it's like seeing beautiful flowers in the garden, when you like them you want to have them you want to possess them so you would have to take the flower of its roots and it will wilt. Love however is different, rather than trying to have the flower on your own, you should just let it be, let it live, an adore it from afar. That's why please don't be so close to me.
As i write this letter i should kill all of my hopes of being with you. I feel like at this point, i'm a trouble to everyone. Particularly my family, my friends and i know i trouble you sometimes too. But i'm glad that at the very least i can see you. We will be parting soon as well. I will miss you. I hope they will treat you very well. And i'm not sure of what to think about, do i pray that i find someone like you where do i pray that i have someone else? I'm not really certain about this matter. I hope that you find peace in your decisions, and i hope that you find yourself in a safe place all the time. It's not so much yet but i love you. I just had to love you as a friend and not as a potential life partner starting today. Thank you so much for being with me so far, it's not a lie if i say that i enjoyed all of those moments and i want to have them forever if i can.
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Wow,I'm sorry for your heart diagnosis thing,ik my apology can't work but its the least I can do.I wish we were friends and I wud love to see u smile everyday. You shud just tell her u like her and ik she likes u too,pls be happy and losing ppl isnt easy ik.But ya always know there's a stranger out here who loves you without knowing who u are
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