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In high school I had a secret "friends with benefits" situation. We would hookup about once a month even if one of us was seeing another person. We really were good friends and would talk for hours everytime we were together. After being away at college for a year I came home and saw him at a party. We ended hooking up again and it was explosively passionate! Like something you see in the movies. We were ripping each other's clothes off and doing things we had never done before. Afterwards when we talked he confessed he felt extremely guilty because he was seeing someone that he was going to propose to. We never spoke or saw each other again after that. It's been 20+ years and I've been happily married to another man for all of them. My old friend also married the girl he had told me about, but it didn't last and he never remarried. I heard through other friends that he was struggling with depression. Even though I'm very happy I still think of this person almost daily. Sadly, he overdosed on prescription drugs and died on my birthday a few years ago. I couldn't make it to the funeral but I cried the whole day when he was buried. I have a lot of guilt and regret about it all. I wish I could have helped or been there for him because he clearly struggled. But yet I also feel like I'm very lucky to be where I am now.
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