I'm not bi, im not lesbian, Im just for Lani.

I am a 19 year old girl and i started dating my first girlfriend a month ago. She is 18 and seems so much more experienced than me. Throughout highschool I only ever dated guys. It wasnt till 11th grade that I began having feeling for my now girlfriend. For the purpose of this story I will call her Lani. Lani and I had several classes together and we were even friends. I'd talk to her when I saw her in the halls and we'd eat lunch together. I never knew she was lesbian because she didnt present herself that way. Now this might sound offensive but she didnt take on the stereotypical "masc" look. She was full fem. Lani was always and still is a very bubbly girl and talked alot (but i loved listening to her rant). Thinking back I think she was very girly and always had something cute in her hair. We used to go shopping together and i loved it bc she has a great sense of style. It felt as if i found my twin, we both loved pink and skirts and whatever teenage girls loved 3 years ago. Anyways, I didnt find out she was lesbian till i over heard my other friends talking about it. Apparently she had told them and they were very supprissed, not rude at all. I went to ask her about it the very day she had planned to tell me. It want till the end of the school year that i noticed i started to like her. I only ever talked about these feeling to my friend Jayla, who was bi. As teen girls do, jayla and I did some stalking and we found 2 girls Lani previously dated. I never brought them up to Lani till she decided to talk about it herself. And when she did she was very open about it and told me her experience. I began to start questioning girl on girl relationships more and more and jayla prompted me to ask Lani about them so I could not only get my answers but get closer to her as well. Before school ended, Lani told me she liked me starting at the beginning of the school year and she felt guilty being friends with me because she was having not so friendly feelings. I told her it was ok and im glad she told me and on the first day of summer she asked me if i was fully straight, and I said idk. She laughed light heartedly but it made me embarrassed because deep down i knew i wasnt really but i didnt know how to approach my feels or her about it. We hung out quite alot in the summer and remained just as close friends but my feeling still lingered. Also i wasnt sure if i was actually becoming bi or if she was just an exception. I didnt find other girls as attractive as her, yes i thought some girls were pretty but Lani made me feel how I feel if i liked a guy-nervous, shy and full of butterflies. The whole thing was confusing so like anything thats too difficult to understand, i pushed it to the side. In 12th grade, things felt different, we had gotten closer and we spent more and more time together. We pinned eachother on our bestfriend list, and when we werent together people would ask where our other half went. This new found closeness just made my feeling stronger and one day I finally told jayla that I will have to reveal my feeling to Lani because just being friends wasnt going to cut it anymore. I also knew Lani wouldnt attack me, after all she did like me. We were at her house hanging out and she was on her bed crocheting while I was sitting on the floor, my back against the bed. I was trying to finish homework but thoughts me having to tell her kept luming over my head and distracting me. To eaise into the topic i asked her if she still had feeling for me jokingly and she said "what if i did". Very sly, Very Lani. And i said "well that'd be nice". She frowned as if she could feel my nervousness. "wouldnt it." I dont know if she was tantting me or what but it made me blurt out to her that It would be nice because I like her too. She stopped crocheting and it felt like an eternity before she stoke again. Normally if i were to say this casually she'd laugh it off but i think she knew i was being serious because, I didn't laugh, i was bright red, my hands were figtting my skirt and i wasnt looking at her. She came off the bed and sat beside me. She asked me if these were new feeling and I explained how i've liked her for a year now. She asked me if i thought i was bi now and i said idk, that i just like her and shes the only girl ive ever liked in my whole life. I started crying because it felt so good to finally say my mind. She told me that she put her feeling on hold because she want sure if they would ever be reciprocated but she was sure she still liked me. Months passed we even graduated and we remained close friends, we never explored our feelings but they were still there in full force. Lucky we went to the same uni and we were now practically best friends with something more. She asked me that now that we're out of highschool and the judgement of others, if i'd like to take our relationship further. (the only people that know i liked Lani was Lani herself, Jayla, my mom and my siblings no one in school knew and i didnt plan on telling anyone of fear of them misunderstanding and spreading rumours that im gay.) I said yes and we started slowly by us just talking about our feelings. I told her I didnt know what i was doing because i've never been in a relationship like this but i was very serious about her and i'd like her to teach me things. We started with what i knew already, kissing, but as we got more into each other, touching started and i panicked. Lani was so comforting I swear she was making me fall for her even more. She said she'd do the touching and if i want her to stop i should pull her hair...i never once pulled her hair. She was very good at it, like she knew all the tricks. A few days after, i invited her for dinner at my parents house and after dinner i asked her if she'd like to go out with me. We've been together for a month and life is so good with her by my side.