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For some reason guys are always inclined to ask me and my girlfriend, "Who's the boyfriend\male figure?"
We are two women. We do not need men. That is why we are lesbians. If you're trying to say, "Who's the dominant one in the relationship?" Just say that please.
I'm tired of some guys thinking that we need a male figure. But the dominant one is my girlfriend. For obvious reasons.
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That’s funny because male gays are super into the concept. Although, women are the opposite of men, so it does make sense you would have the opposite opinion.
ReplyAnd it’s cross cultural too actually. There’s some guy I follow on YouTube who reviews food in Tokyo, but this Japanese guy apparently used to be a gay prostitute and people would always ask him to be the “bottom.” Which is kinda scary because he’s actually a pretty masculine looking guy. I’m not sure I want to know what the top guys in Japan look like. And what will happen when they find out how the world has stereotyped Japanese men.
ReplyIdk. I think one of them always feel more masculine though. Masculine is tied to males usually. Why be offended? Why do men get offended when someone considers them anything else but masculine? Everything always has to be stated specifically in certain ways because everyone's so easily offended now that it's not the 1950s anymore. There's a bunch of people who feel the past was better. More and more forever less simple and people wonder why everyone's crazy.
ReplyHonestly I’m a dude and I’m not even gay, and I think that’s weird. Like women can say “I’m not a girly girl.” That’s not the same thing as being masculine though. A woman can be a tomboy or a “not girly girl” and still be feminine. If a guy says he’s not a manly man, they think he’s trans or something. The best I’ve been able to find is just saying “I’m not macho.” You know what I mean? Like I’m a man… I’m not a lumberjack.
ReplyI think it’s because people associate “strength” with “masculinity” like they’re synonyms, and people think preying on weakness is good, so if they see a guy that’s not masculine, they think he’s weak, and because people are pathetic, they think “weak = must exploit.”
ReplyI'm not saying that they can't consider one of us more masculine, and I'm not saying I'm super offended. I'm just confused on why some people think that relationships always have to have a man-woman dynamic. We're both pretty feminine, and never thought of each other as men/or male presenting.
But I'm not saying I would call someone out of they said this because I know they're probably trying to say "Who's more dominant?" Because men are always considered more dominant. I'm not trans or male presenting, so I don't want to be called a "male figure" you know? If someone called a man a "female figure" he would have a right to be uncomfortable. Right?
ReplyIt sounds like you both are comfortable with one another. In the early days, what started the connection?
ReplyWhy would anyone ask you that question anyway? That's weird.
ReplyLol, surprisingly stuff like this happens a lot. My boss was one creepy guy who asked us some INTERESTING questions about lesbians. He might have just wanted to know about the sexuality - but it came off as a little creepy. He would say things like, "You two are too pretty to be with each other." (When I first told him about my girlfriend) "Sorry if this is being intrusive - but I still don't know how two lesbians do it. 😂😂😂😂😂" "Have you guys ever had an interest in men? Or letting a man into the relationship? Just asking. Not that I have a crush on you anything.." (This man was 12 years older than me.) "How do you know you're gay if you've never slept with a man??" "It must be must easier being a lesbian..." (When I first told him about my girlfriend) "Ooh! I know a lesbian! She's my niece!" He also referred to my girlfriend as my "friend" in front of his colleagues. "Why did you choose to be a lesbian?" "How did your family react."
A lot of these questions were probably coming from a good spot - but I don't really want people at work to be asking about my personal life. I wouldn't ask about theirs!
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