again

im being such a dramatic idiot i feel like im going a little crazy but im probably just being a dramatic stupid child, its still august 8th and i just really hope my tarot readings are right that things will get better next week im trying to stay positive but i cant i keep feeling suicidal but dont have the will to ever kill myself and i half dont want to but its just that i feel like everything should be my fault i think ive had suicidal thoughts almost all week at least a day, the friend coming back is the only way this is ever gonna get helped maybe she will let me vent more often and my bff probably hates her bc i exaggerated too much all of this is my fault im so stupid why am i even considered smart i have to repeat my schedule tomorrow i cant function after the 2nd school session my brain power just runs out despite somehow my imagination can go crazy when i go on my laptop, i just dont know what to say i wish things get better when will the hope for the future as my tarots are saying come? i dont think ive ever used a tarot deck so often in my life im just this desperate

- from 🐎